Bent But Not Broken

This has been an impossible week of tragedy and triumph, brokenness and bravery, gory injuries and graciousness, terror and tenacity, angry words and awakenings, betrayal and blessing.

We started the week with the horror of the bombings at the Boston Marathon. The tragedy unfolded to reveal the deaths of three beautiful souls and the maiming of so many others. The losses will affect these victims, survivors, and their families for the rest of their lives. But out of it we also witnessed the triumph of the human spirit as first responders and regular citizens rushed toward the blasts to help others in need. The number of injuries and the gruesomeness of the injuries was devastating. The reality that humans did this to others was alarming and disheartening.

We moved quickly into learning that our elected officials refused to vote the will of 90% of the American people to extend the reach of background checks for gun purchases. It was a devastating loss for sensible legislation to curb gun violence. It was a crushing blow to many who have worked tirelessly for this goal. The refusal by the Senate to say NO to the NRA was painful.

This week was also marred by the mailing of ricin filled letters to a US Senator and to the President of the United States by an angry, bitter man bent on hurting others. The depth of hatred and destruction some will stoop to saddened us.

We entered into a wave of destruction once again as a fertilizer plant in West, Texas caught fire and the very firefighters who answered the call were trapped in the blaze. The explosion filled the earth with fire and fear. Fourteen persons were killed – ten of them first responders – and hundreds were injured. The loss of life and the destruction of homes and businesses will reshape and affect that community for decades to come.

The manhunt for the bombing suspects continued in the city of Boston and the surrounding communities as we moved into the later part of the week.  Word of gunfights, a carjacking, and tossed IEDs and grenades sent a wave of fear once again racing through those in the area. When word came that the first suspect was dead and later that the second had been arrested - cries of relief and gratitude poured forth from the people of Boston and around the country.

In the midst of this we learned of a massive earthquake that struck China. Hundreds are likely dead and thousands injured. The loss is tremendous and gut-wrenching. We are left to watch rescue workers rush into collapsed building debris to find survivors and everyday heroes are lending a hand. Once again we cried out in anguish.

And we are left to wonder ... Did this week suck or what?

Yes. It did. There was destruction, brutality, tragedy, terror, and betrayal. And it saddened us beyond words.

But there was also amazing heroism, bravery, tenacity, unity, and love. Bostonians opened their homes to people needing a place to stay. People in Texas rushed to help and supported the families of the firefighters killed and injured and helped persons who lost their homes. Citizens in Boston and China with no medical training came to the aid of their brothers and sisters in need and made us proud. Law Enforcement officers did their jobs with amazing tenacity and professionalism that made a city want to collectively hug them all. And a determined and brave former congresswoman, Gabby Giffords, vowed to not give up the fight on guns and tens of thousands of new folks joined her in the quest.

This week bent us - but it did not break us. It did not break us because in all of these situations people of good will banded together to react positively and to respond together. It did not break us because we joined forces regardless of gender or sexuality or age or faith or other differences.

But we did bend folks - some used the actions of a few to lump an entire religion’s followers into the role of "bad guy." Some used coded language about "brown skinned people” and "not being American enough." Some blamed gays or the government or conspiracies or each other for the danger and fear. Some assumed evil intent too quickly. Some made statements on social media that all "foreigners should be kicked out now." Some in the news media failed on so many levels.  And so did some of our leaders.

We bent. But we did not break - we are a strong people. And we are stronger together. We are better when we reach out to help and when we hold each other accountable. We are better when we understand that we are all children of God.

Our brothers and sisters in China, Boston, Texas, and around the world deserve our prayers. The victims, survivors, first responders, and those affected by these events are due our respect.

The circumstances of this week needed quiet respect and honor instead of politics, protests, and positioning. The events of this week were worthy of our best and in so many ways we rose to the occasion. But we need to be better. We need to work harder at keeping the hate, distrust, and anger at bay. We need to be more willing to wait for the right answer and not the quick one.

We bent this week folks – and we need to learn from that. But we did not break – and we need to celebrate that.

The General Conference Post That Would Not Come …

I have tried for two weeks to write about the recent General Conference of The United Methodist Church.  I started to write in the weeks leading up to the conference about my hopes and dreams for our church, for our shared ministry, and for our celebration of and praise of a mighty and compassionate God.  I wrote and erased so many posts that I gave up.  My dreams were too big and my wishes too bold.  I dared not write them down.  Every time I did it scared me too much to post them.

In the first week of the General Conference I tried again as I saw amazingly blessed worship and an international church come together in praise of God.  I was stunned by the visioning and hope many delegates came with.  And I relished the stories they told about church growth, vital ministry, and stunning outreach.  It moved my heart and soul.  Then holy conferencing on the issue of sexuality sent many into a tailspin as some GLBT folks were bullied, intimidated and called names during a time when real conversations were supposed to be happening.  And I sat as no words would come.

I tried again after a good friend, Mark Miller, was silenced on the floor of the conference when he tried to speak about the bullying.  He was allowed to speak about some of the pain and the bishop prayed but he was still silenced.  I stood with Mark in the middle of my living room.  My ranting words were good for me to let loose but too much to share with others.  I wept for my church.  And no post came.

But I found myself once again attempting to write after only 56% of my church’s delegates voted that God’s love is available to all persons.  Why only 56%?  Because they thought it was a slippery slope to accepting persons they believe are incompatible with Christian teachings. (“They” will continue to say it is the practice of homosexuality that is incompatible but in truth they are condemning the very being of the GLBT members of our denomination).  That post was deleted as well.

I saw some hope in the legislative committee work over the weekend session and when a promised amendment to be presented on the floor was trying at the very least to get the church to acknowledge we are not all in agreement with the United Methodist stance on homosexuality.  I had some renewed hope and a sense of reserved joy.  That was dashed when some of the delegates instead spoke of bestiality and stoning of GLBT folks in the UMC from the floor.  The petition failed – as it has before.  That post never even made it onto the computer screen.

I tried to write after GLBT advocates entered the bar of the conference to witness to their own and others’ exclusion and to attempt to keep any more harm from happening on the floor of the conference.  But my tears blurred the screen and I could not find the words.

I once again made a valiant effort after the plan to restructure our church and work together for a renewed future for our denomination failed in committee, was resurrected and remade into PlanUMC, was adopted on the floor, and then was ruled unconstitutional by the Judicial Council.  We were back to square one with no plan and little time until the end of the conference.  But Bishop Goodpaster reminded us we still have a structure in the 2008 Book of Discipline and he said it better than I could.

So Sunday morning I got up and went to my UMC/UCC federated congregation in Chestnut Hill, PA.  It is a reconciling, affirming, anti-racist, environmentally active, advocacy-centered congregation that worships like no other church I have ever been part of.  I realized once again that the theology of my church – The United Methodist Church – is one of grace and love.  And it is lived out in this church in amazingly vivid ways.

A feast at my wonderful church.

But I am angry and hurt.  I was born into the UMC – I am a cradle Methodist.  My father is a UM pastor and I have a Methodist pastor in every generation back several generations.  I have an ancestor who was ordained by Francis Asbury.  I have lived and bled Wesleyan theology since birth.  But I am disappointed and angry.  And I am unsure what comes next for my church … and that makes me sadder than I have been in a very long time.

In the meantime I will continue to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ as passionately as I can.  I will continue to share my faith with others and bring the gospel to those who have not heard it before or who have had a bad experience with the church previously.  I will continue to advocate for full inclusion of all persons.  I will continue to teach my students to love the church – but to love their passion for transforming lives more.  I will continue to prepare candidates for ministry in the UMC by teaching them the history, doctrine and polity of our church.  I will continue to work around the corner and around the world to bring about an end to gun violence, racism, sexism, domestic violence, poverty, homophobia, inequality and other injustices.  I will continue to hope and work for a church that lives the gospel – fully and completely.

And I will continue to pray for my church, for all who are hurt and are impacted by the decisions of the last few weeks at General Conference – on all sides of these issues.  And I ask you to please pray for our church, for all who hurt, and for all who are impacted by these decisions.

My Church Needs to Get a Little "Pissed Off"*

Next week The United Methodist Church's General Conference will meet in Tampa, Florida.  This is a pivotal time for our denomination.  We are gathering as a global church to determine a number of issues, including a restructuring plan, guaranteed appointments for clergy who are Elders in our church, issues around homosexuality, financing of our shared ministry, the structure of our general agencies, and how we will move as a denomination into the 21st century.

There has been a lot of lead-up to this global gathering.  Organizing bodies have planned worship, arranged for space, processed petitions, and coordinated meeting schedules.  Bishops have prayed and discussed upcoming legislation.  Groups have petitioned the body about numerous issues important to them.  Annual Conferences and individuals have weighed in on the pluses and minuses of the different proposals.  Advocacy groups have met, discussed and planned strategy to deal with their concerns about the proposals.  Facebook groups have debated the issues on every conceivable level. Blogs and articles have been written, disseminated and discussed.  And this does not even begin to cover all of the preparation for this gathering.

But despite all of this - we will more than likely continue to disagree on a number of the core issues coming before our governing body.  We are a church that have members around the globe and who would be found up and down the political and social issue spectrum.  We are younger and older persons as members.  We come from developing nations and developed nations.  We come from mega churches, rural churches, , suburban churches, village churches, tiny house communities, new church starts, declining churches, growing churches, multi-cultural churches, staff-led and single pastor led congregations, and much more.  Our churches are led by Elders, Deacons, Local Pastors, Lay Leaders, and other leaders both trained and volunteer. We are as diverse as a global group can be.

But we are also similar.  We share a Wesleyan heritage of social justice ministry.  We have a common theological framework of grace - prevenient, justifying, and sustaining.  We rely on the scriptures as our core guide - but we also interpret them with our tradition, experience, and reason.  However, despite these similarities we do not always agree.  The very way to we look at scripture leads us to differing meanings in the texts we read.

With the diversity in our members and our faith understandings, it is no wonder that we have failed on several occasions to even agree that we disagree on key issues facing the church.  But at this General Conference we are at a crossroads.  We come together at a time of great cultural and political turmoil all across the globe.  We come together at a time when we need holy conferencing more than ever before.  We come together needing to find common ground.  We come together at a time when we have to re-vision what our structure needs to look like to be more nimble and efficient in the future.

But this ground will be hard to find -- if we do not listen with open minds, love with open hearts, and fling the doors of our churches open to all.

If I had all of the answers I would offer them here.  Unfortunately these major decisions will take a lot more than one person offering their opinion.  It will take many persons on the floor of the General Conference offering opinions and listening one to the other.  It will take concessions on both ends of the spectrum.  It will require compromise.

Once a seminary professor of mine asked the class she was teaching what we thought of compromise in the church.  One student answered rather flippantly, "It is an agreement that pisses off both groups."  The prof laughed.  The class laughed.  Then the prof smiled slyly.  Then she agreed with the statement, saying, "That’s so often what it takes."

So I ask my fellow United Methodists ... are you ready to be a little bit “pissed off?”* Because I think in order for us to move forward we are going to all have to find room for flexibility about some long held beliefs and opinions.  To move forward we likely will need to embrace other options for faithful discipleship that are not in concert with our own.  To move forward we just might have to agree to disagree - which at this point would be a step forward.

So I pray.  I advocate.  I pray.  I talk to others.  I pray.  I write about my own opinions.  I pray. And I wait for my church to speak - hopefully after allowing themselves (and by extension all of us) to grow and stretch together.

And I pray that if we do get a bit “pissed off” at each other - may it be a good thing as we have listened well, loved mightily, worked through our differences, and found common ground.  God has already told us what is expected of us.

"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8 NIV)

Lord, make it so.

*While some will not like the use of this language - it is vital to my story and appropriate to the feelings I have at this time.

Dinosaurs and Dragons in Church

 A friend called last week to talk about a conflict in their church.  It was about a resistance coming from some of his members to change things for a new day according to the friend, a pastor of a mainline denomination.  He commented that the dinosaurs in his church never want to try anything new.  They often say the seven deadly words that can stop church growth and new possibilities for vitality – “But we’ve never done it that way.”  His frustration was palpable even over the phone.  He was disheartened and frustrated. 

Another friend of mine had called just the week before – another pastor friend – to talk about a “problem person” in her church.  The person she was calling about was causing all manner of conflict because she did not get her way in a recent church decision.  So the member was acting out in aggressive ways.  The pastor called to see what I thought of how she was dealing with this behavior.  She was struggling with the anger spewing from her member that seemed out of control.  The pastor was tired and confused.

In every church you can find examples of both dinosaurs and dragons.  Dinosaurs can and will often cling to out of date realities and long for bygone days of the past.  They can also be the holders of tradition and heritage.  Dinosaurs can be the foundations upon which our mainline churches are built.  The difficulty is when the demographics of a community demand change, a new type of worship experience, or an innovative outreach strategy and the dinosaurs refuse to change to allow for these new possibilities.

You will likely also run into various dragons in the church.  Some stomp around throwing their power around like a bulky swishing tail and others literally and figuratively breathe fire whenever they are angry.  They can make life in the church very problematic – for both laity and clergy alike.  They can become angry over what seems like small things – moving a painting from one room to the other or the changing of the location of a meeting.  They can make the process of decision making extremely difficult by breathing fire in meeting after meeting, in worship and in study, and in formal and informal settings.  They can leave a path of destruction that baffles those around them with their angry behavior.

So what do we do about dragons?  One of these friends who called recently said the best thing about them is that they will simply die out eventually.  But what of the church in the meantime?

There are ways to deal with dragons and their issues from Marshall Shelley’s Well-Intentioned Dragons: Ministering to Problem People in the Church:

1. When criticism or critique is offered – “consider the spirit in which it is offered.”  Even in anger the critique may have merit and one would be wise to at least consider the criticism’s possible realities.

2. When the criticism or critique comes in the midst of “hot anger” this “is a sign that something more is involved.”  Anger, fiery or otherwise, that is beyond the expected norms in any given situation could likely mean there is something more that the person is frustrated or angry about.  Try to work on discovering the root of this anger in order to deal with the fallout.

3. When criticism or critique is offered – respond prayerfully.  The best model we can offer when people are angry is to pray for and with them about what they have concerns about.

4. When criticism or critique comes in concrete forms – give these instances of critique more weight.  The more concrete someone is the more validity their issue may be.  Explore what they are offering and examine them carefully for possible issues you can address.

5. When criticism and critique comes – deal with them calmly and with great care.  Dismissing the concerns out of hand only adds anger to the situation.  React calmly and they might as well.

6. When criticism and critique comes – deal with it corporately.  Gain perspective through the advice and counsel of others you trust.

7. When you are finished with all of these considerations you must act – either by making changes or letting the person know that you have weighed their issue carefully and determined that a different decision has been made.

Dealing with dinosaurs can be just as tricky.  Dinosaurs are often feeling like their issues and needs are being left behind for new people, new ideas, and new methods.  They believe what they hold dear in the church is being taken away from them piece by piece, step by step.  Their desires to cling to the past can be dangerous to a church that finds itself in the position of moving forward and reaching new audiences. 

Honoring the past while making room for what’s next can be tricky.  Sometimes it involves being a chaplain to “what was” to its final end in order to create “what can be.”  Sometimes it involves radically envisioning a new beginning that the dinosaurs can support as an additional ministry of their church.  Sometimes it means spending time learning the story of the dinosaurs so that one can tell a new story they can respond to positively. Sometimes it means leaving the dinosaurs and dragons behind and starting something completely new and different.  All are hard.

When dealing with the dragons and dinosaurs of your church follow some important advice – they are not the enemy.  They are children of God just as you and those who agree with you are.  They are part of the beloved community and as such need our care and love.

When dealing with angry dragons and prehistoric dinosaurs – handle with care.  Likely they are as afraid of you as you are of them.  Communication and shared beliefs are important to honor.  Take the time to deal justly and compassionately with them and you might be surprised how much progress you can make.

Handle with care = love, honor, respect, and grace.  But it also means moving on to a new reality when necessary – both dragons and dinosaurs no longer exist in the real world, but they can be all too real in the church. Remarkably they can help us honor the past and move into the future.

Hopefully the church of what is to come learns the lessons of the past and makes decisions that honor it while not clinging too tightly to it.  The church of what’s next needs to be birthed.  NOW!