Being Set Adrift for God

(I have taken a break from blogging for a while but several events lately led me to post this and get back into the task of blogging.)

I am not afraid to admit that I like control. I don’t like other people controlling me or telling me what to do. I never have liked it (just ask my Mom or Dad).  Despite life requiring that I allow others to lead in many situations, I enjoy having elements of control over my own life. In the midst of chaos I like to exert as much control over the situation as I can - so that the chaos begins to ease as much as possible. I don’t think that I am alone in this. Most of us like control. It’s human to want things to be fixed and static but life often does not work that way.

Trying to exert control in times of discernment and reflection can be even harder. Following where God leads us in our lives can be a scary and intimidating process. Exerting control in those circumstances is often problematic. Giving up control to God is hard for many of us, but we feel like it should be done and should be easier. It’s often not.

I work with seminary students (folks preparing for pastoral ministry in some form) and often meet with them to talk about their ministry and life discernment process. I also have the opportunity to talk with quite a few prospective students who are still trying to determine what God is calling them to do and be in their lives and any potential ministry. I have come across a number of persons who denied their call for decades because they did not or could not give in to the discernment process and acknowledge their call into pastoral ministry or some other discernment issue in their lives. Giving up control and allowing God to lead is indeed hard – despite how faithful one is.

Recently, a guest lecturer was preaching in our chapel. She shared an ancient Celtic tradition of setting sail in a rudderless boat, relying on the wind of the Holy Spirit to guide you as you discerned who God was leading you to be and where God was sending you to share that state of being. As she explained the process, I came to understand that one who is discerning their life direction embarks on a journey to see where God is directing them by being set adrift to catch the winds of the Spirit – with no way to pilot the boat themselves.

Canoe set Adrift by Poucher

The image was both refreshing and terrifying at the same time. It was a refreshing image to contemplate. Being set adrift to go where God directs us is powerful. Giving into the will of God is a profound thing that can set a person free from the bonds that are keeping them from fully being who they are called to be. Giving into the breath of God and go where the wind takes you opens up potential ministry and life experiences that no one could ever imagine on their own. Being able to launch yourself on that kind of adventure would take a lot of fortitude and guts.

That’s where the scary part comes in – letting go of your own need for control and to actually stop trying to control the boat is important. The very fact that the boat is rudderless means there is no directing the boat on your own. Of course, left to my own devices, I could probably use my hands or feet to push/pull/navigate the boat. And I would likely want to do just that. But that’s not what we are called to do in discernment.

The task is to stop trying to control things. We are called to let the Spirit lead and to go where God directs us.

And that’s tricky. The easy thing is to say to ourselves or others, “Just have faith.” But the reality is that letting go is against our human nature. That means even having faith is not all that we need to get us to let go. We have to “own up” to our reluctance to give up control and allow God to blow us where God will. And we need to acknowledge that it is not the easiest thing for us to do. We should not beat ourselves up about this when we fail and try to steer some of the way.

Discernment is tough. So is living into the will of God. But we are called to live into this anyway – to find a way. Being honest and working through the discernment process patiently is paramount. Give yourself some grace when it’s not easy. And try paddling as little as possible when you are in that rudderless boat.

It’s ok. God loves us anyway – even when we fail. And the Spirit will continue to blow to guide us even when it is harder to let it guide us.

Let’s make this promise to each other and to God – we’ll keep our hands and feet inside the rudderless vehicle as much as we can and enjoy the ride.

40 Days of Looking at Ourselves

‎"In many cultures there is an ancient custom of giving a tenth of each year’s income to some holy use. For Christians, to observe the forty days of lent is to do the same thing with roughly a tenth of each year’s days. After being baptized by John in the river Jordan, Jesus went off alone into the wilderness where he spent forty days asking himself the question what it meant to be Jesus. During Lent, Christians are supposed to ask one way or another what it means to be themselves."  ~ Frederick Buechner

Spending the 40 days of Lent each year pondering one’s life and faith is a wondrous thing.  Spending the intentional time reconciling oneself to their sinful nature and their need for redemption is essential.  Spending time in prayer and fasting is good for the soul. 

Spending time differently by adding reading scriptures, working at a charity organization, or taking on some other self-reflective or activity is an important part of a Lenten Journey. Some of my friends and colleagues take on some very special projects during Lent – thereby giving up other things they might be doing during that time of service.

Spending time pondering life and faith during a time of sacrifice and denial can be amazingly renewing.  Although giving something up you dislike already can be less inspiring – in my humble opinion.  (A friend is giving up mean people, artichokes, and standing in line.)  Many folks give up very significant things during Lent to remind themselves of the sacrifice needed to prepare for Easter still to come.

Asking oneself, as Buechner suggests, what it means to be oneself is good for the soul.  But it can be a difficult thing to do.

Looking within is sometimes tough.  Looking within means seeing the rawness of our sinfulness, the wounds of our mistakes, and the abject need of redemption and reconciliation in our lives.  Looking within can bring us to a place of serious need … to examine our lives and to recommit to the journey of faith.

This Lent my prayer is that you take the time to look within, to evaluate what your life is about, and to find a way to see yourself differently when Easter Morning comes this year.

The time is now – to spend the next 40 days looking within.  You might not like all that you see, but now is also the time to change that. 

Asking what it means to be you as a person of faith can be tough but it can also be a gift.  May your Lenten Journey of self-discovery be a blessed one. And may this season bring you closer to the One who created all that you are.

The Care and Tending of Clergy

When I was pastoring a church full time I heard many of my pastor friends talking about burnout and dissatisfaction with their vocation.  As a seminary professor I hear students excited about entering into ministry but hear from them several months or years into their calls who say “you did not tell me about all this stuff I have to deal with.”  (I know I did tell them but they were so idealistic they only heard the good stuff.)  I teach students that pastoral ministry is the most blessed and holy thing they will ever do – but it is the most frustrating and draining thing that they will ever participate in as well.  I often hear some stories of vocational celebration and blessing – but all too often the stories I hear are heartbreaking.

Taking on the mantle of spiritual leader, pastor, chaplain, or minister is a major life decision.  It means taking the risk to respond to the call of God on your life.  It will affect your family and your personal relationship (as seen in the data below).  It will affect your spirituality and your health.  It will bring you amazing fulfillment and take you to the depths of despair.  It will cost you friendships and potential relationships.  It will test your limits and limit your vision, especially on bad days.  These are realities – unfortunately – of this vocation. 

But it will also bring you closer to God and to the people of God.  It will bring you into moments of sincere need at the bedside of a dying person and into moments of beautiful grace at the baptism of a new baby.  It will take you to the altar to celebrate the Eucharist and to the pulpit to preach the Gospel of grace and love.  It will allow you to bless relationships at their beginnings and to celebrate the lives of those who have died.  It will offer moments of amazing connection and possibility.

I pray for all of those who answer the call to pastoral ministry.  I was asked to lay hands on a friend at her ordination last night and felt so blessed to be asked to do so.  I said yes because I believe in persons answering that call to serve God.  But I also know the toll it can take on the person who answers and all who love them.

The way to answer and not become a statistic like those below is to pray daily, take a day off weekly and weeks off each year, rest your body, mind your relationships, spend time with God, nurture your creative side, pray, take care of your body and soul, play with your kids and other children in your life, find a hobby that makes you happy, go to the movies, pray, go on dates with your spouse or significant other, read a good mystery, pray, spend time with a friend, and stay connected to God. 

Don’t become a statistic.  Take advantage of your relationships with other clergy to watch out for each other.  Find a place to talk with someone who can help you.  Do not Lone Ranger your ministry.  Do not become a statistic of pastoral ministry – be enriched by it.

And to all laity out there – take care of your clergy leaders.  Make sure they take their days off – you get your weekends, clergy usually do not.  Ask them about how they are doing and pray for them daily - and for their families.  Love your pastors but hold them accountable for their self-care.

The care and tending of clergy takes a village – treat yourself and the clergy in your life with care.  God chose, called, equipped, commissioned and sent them – God deserves the best from us in helping them answer their call.

Stunning Clergy Statistics:

·         90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.

·         80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor’s children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.

·         95% of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouses.

·         33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.

·         75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.

·         90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.

·         80% of pastors and 84% of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged as role of pastors.

·         90% of pastors said the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.

·         50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.

·         70% of pastors constantly fight depression.

·         70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.

·         70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.

·         40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.

·         33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church.

·         50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

·         70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid.

·         50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.

·         1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.

·         94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor’s ministry.

·         80% of spouses feel the pastor is overworked.

·         80% spouses feel left out and under-appreciated by church members.

·         80% of pastors’ spouses wish their spouse would choose a different profession.

·         66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than them.

·         The profession of “Pastor” is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above “car salesman.”

·         4,000 new churches begin each year and 7,000 churches close.

·         Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.

·         Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month, many without cause.

·         Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.

·         Many denominations report an “empty pulpit crisis.” They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.

(Pastoral Statistics provided by the Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.  Thanks to http://barefootpreachr.org/2011/10/12/pastor-are-you-simply-a-statistic/ for this information) 

Preaching for Connection

I was talking with a colleague from my church this week and the topic of preaching came up in our conversation.  The topic more specifically was whether or not preaching without notes was favorable to preaching with a manuscript.  Since I am a preaching professor who encourages the use of minimal notes or an outline, my opinion was pretty clear.  However my colleague was uncertain about how to make this happen in their own preaching.

Two facts jumped to my mind immediately – one was the fear often involved in moving away from a full manuscript and the other was the fact that connecting to a congregation through physical presence and eye contact is easier without a manuscript.  [First a disclaimer – yes, I believe that preachers can connect to congregations with a manuscript, but it takes more effort and intentionality than many manuscript preachers in my experience have been willing to put forth. Not true for all but certainly true for many.]

So a few thoughts about making connections and preaching.  We live in a society where people are often isolated and in need of finding a place to belong.  People are in need of feeling connected to each other and to God.  People often are searching for direction in their lives.  People are using many different entry points to find connections – social media, technology, web dating, etc. 

Worshipping in and with a community of faith can bring people to a point where they begin to find a place and connections.  As the preacher in the service, we do not want to be a barrier to that happening by not connecting with those in worship.  When a preacher makes limited or no connections when they preach, it leaves folks confused and isolated.

The process of moving away from a full manuscript starts with a simple promise – to memorize any narrative story in the sermon and to become so familiar with the beginning and end of the sermon so as not to need to read them word for word.  This is a scary start but can be done easily by using a personal story and a narrative you feel connected to in some way. 

The next steps can be done over the period of weeks or months – moving from a manuscript to extended outline or to a manuscript with key words replacing sections of the text.  Over the course of weeks, the preacher can diminish their use of notes to a simple page of key words, a limited outline, or no notes at all.  Each preacher has to determine what works for them.  Other techniques and ideas will be coming in the future, but making the intentional decision to use fewer notes means spending more time connecting to the people instead of reading one’s manuscript.  I encourage you to try. 

Take baby steps.  This next week – try to just memorize one piece of your sermon and see how freeing it can feel.  Connections matter.

I Needed a Timeout

I have had three careers over the course of my life.  I taught High School History and Government for 9 years, pastored churches for fourteen years as a United Methodist clergyperson, and have been a seminary professor for four years teaching Preaching and Worship, Ministry Formation and UM courses (among others).  In that time I have obviously felt called to move from one place and profession to another.  During those times of calling and change – I reflected on my call and how God wanted to use me in the world in new ways.  And those reflective times sent me back to graduate school twice – once for a Master of Divinity degree and then for Master and Doctor of Philosophy degrees.  But this week I have been blessed with a rare opportunity to reflect on my vocation as a seminary professor and my identity as a theological educator.  I was chosen to attend the Wabash Institute’s Consultation for Pre-Tenure Seminary Faculty over the next year (1 week this week, 1 long weekend in January 2012, and 1 week next summer).  This is a group of 14 pre-tenure profs and 5 leaders reflecting intentionally on teaching; on our identity in seminary education; and the role of power, gender, and rank in our lives as faculty members.

One of the first things I noticed about our schedule was that there was a lot of free time scheduled.  I was perplexed.  Shouldn’t we be working the entire time?  Shouldn’t this week wear us out?  Shouldn’t we have more homework to do?  We’re going bowling?  We're going on a canoe trip?  We’re learning to drum?  Seriously?

Then after only 1½ days of us talking together – formally and informally – I know why we have down time.  It is exhausting work.  But it is work that is so worth it.  We are asking BIG questions about our lives as educators, our goals for our students, our values as educators for our students’ learning, and how our courses reflect those goals and values.  Taking time to assess our work is important.  It is not the first time I have done this – but this guided and collaborative process this week is a gift beyond what I usually do.

Being with other seminary colleagues who are exploring who they are and who they want to be as theological educators is a powerful experience.  Getting to know them and hearing their stories and experiences is phenomenal.  But  I wonder how often folks really take the time to assess their vocation - their work?  I wonder how much intentional time people spend discerning why they do that they do in their work?  I wonder why it took a week away to ask some of the questions I am asking.  But I am so grateful for it?

I needed this time out.  I did not know how much I needed it until I got here.  So bring on the drumming lessons tonight.  I wanna see how this helps me become a better teacher – because I know it will. 

I promise to think even more intentionally about what I am doing from now on – but I will also try to remember to take a time out more often.  Amazing how great it is. 

Try it sometime …