Preaching Joy

Recently I was asked by a former student how to adequately express joy in a sermon without sounding “slap-happy.”  The preacher had been told by several members of her congregation that she sounded a bit sappy when she talked about the joy we can all find in our faith.  They just didn’t “buy” her joy when she preached.

I am not even going to go into the fact that there is a significant possibility that the comment was sexist – since it possibly was.  And I am not going to touch the fact that preaching without joy seems oxymoronic in most circumstances (however I admit there are times when abundant joy is not appropriate – like Good Friday and other more solemn occasions).

So here’s the deal.  Preaching with joy is important.  The people in our churches and communities of faith are often in search for a good word, a spark of hope, and a sense that God is present.  Going into the pulpit prepared to speak a word of grace, hope and joy is important.  Doing so is imperative in today’s climate.

But it also must be done with sincerity and authenticity.  Perhaps my former student’s presentation of the Gospel’s joy was not in character with her normal pulpit presence or was in contrast to her physical presentation.  Maybe she was exhibiting a joy that was not related to the text of her sermon.  Perhaps she had not prepared her people to receive a message of joy.  Maybe – just maybe – she was out of touch with her people and did not realize they were not in a place of hearing joy.

There is more to preaching than exegeting (doing research, study, interpretation, and analysis on) the text and writing a sermon manuscript or outline.  One of the most important pieces of preaching involves exegeting the community.  We have to know our people in order for our words to better reach them.  We have to know what is going on in their lives, in our community, and in their faith journey.

Taking the time to really get to know our people puts us in the position to be able to relate what we are doing from the pulpit in ways that connect the text to their lived lives.

Being authentic and showing who we are in ways that communicate the Gospel’s joy and its passion is imperative. Many in and outside of the church today feel a disconnect between their lives and the Gospel message preached in our pulpits. They need to feel God’s presence, to hear a word of grace and hope, and to experience moments of awe and joy.  

And they also need to feel the passion of Christ’s suffering and death, the feelings of “lostness” in the parables of Jesus, and to learn to experience the transformation of lives brought about by the life and death of Jesus.

We are called to share this – all of this story with our people.  We are called to share this message as authentically and connectively as possible. We are called to be honest and “real” in our preaching. We are called to know our people so that all of this is possible.

So get to know your people … spend time with them, learn what is important to them, study and play with them, and let them get to know you. If you do this … they can hear the joy, the hope, the passion and the amazing grace you are called to preach to and with them.

Preach away folks.

Far Away Me: Caring for Parents at a Distance

I am a Tweener – I was born in 1962 so I am not a true Baby Boomer (according to some lists) and I am on the edge of the Baby Buster (Generation X) years.  I have some lifestyle similarities with both groups but definitely claim the Gen X (more Buster than Boomerang) label more than the Boomers.

However, one thing I have in common with the Boomer generation is the fact that as Americans age, this generation is spending almost as many years caring for parents as they are raising children.  This is not a new phenomenon in our country and raises many issues for both parents and their adult children - this group is often called The Sandwich Generation.

More and more Boomers and Busters - and those in between, like me – are caring for aging parents.  And many of us are doing that from a distance.  Estimates say that as many as 7 million Americans are caring for parents from a distance.  That is a lot of caregiving going on by proxy or by phone/internet/Skype/friends/etc. or by occasional visits.  This does not mean our parents are incapable of caring for themselves – it is quite the contrary in my case.  My parents are very young 75+ year olds.  And they are pretty healthy.

But as they age, there are more and more health issues that they are facing now and will be facing in the future.  Several surgeries and illnesses over the past few years for both of them have been tough on all of us.  And my sisters and myself all live at a minimum of 5+ hours and at a maximum of almost 3,000 miles away.  What this means is that they are going through some health situations without their children physically present.  They handle it well.  However, their children struggle with it at times.

I am constantly amazed at how painful it is to not be in the room with them while they are waiting for a surgery to end or for the results of tests to be delivered.  The last few months my dad has been having health issues and talking to them by phone has been so helpful.  But there have also been times when I just break down and cry because I am not there holding his hand or hugging my mom.  My sisters feel the same way, but we cannot get there for every situation.  And that is the rub.  Because in all likelihood it will get worse – not better.

Because I know this state of care will progress.  The National Institute on Aging says “Caregiving, no matter where the caregiver lives, is often long-lasting and ever-expanding. For the long-distance caregiver, what may start out as an occasional social phone call to share family news can eventually turn into regular phone calls about managing household bills, getting medical information, and arranging for grocery deliveries. What begins as a monthly trip to check on Mom or Dad may become a larger project to move him or her to a new home or nursing facility closer to where you live.”[1]   I know I am a ways off from this, but I want to be ready.  I want my sisters to be ready.  And I want my parents to have all of the independence they need for as long as possible and only to help as needed. 

But I have a lot of friends, colleagues, family, and acquaintances who are dealing with long-distance caregiving right now.  I can name ten persons dealing with this situation just sitting here as I type.  And some of them are just exhausted - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Some advice for them from the National Institute on Aging:

“Although you may not feel as physically exhausted and drained as the primary, hands-on caregiver, you may still be worried and anxious. And you might feel guilty about almost everything—about not being closer, not doing enough, not having enough time with your parent, and perhaps even feeling jealous of those who do. Many long-distance caregivers also find that worry about being able to afford to take time off from work, being away from family, or the cost of travel increases these frustrations. Remember that you are doing the best you can given the circumstances and that you can only do what you can do. It may help to know that these are feelings shared by many other long-distance caregivers—you are not alone in this.”[2]

My parents are amazing.  I love them and want to be there for them as they need me.  And I want to support my sisters, friends, and other family members as they care for their own parents.  Caring for others from a distance is an act of faith – faith in your relationships, faith in your family, faith in your connections, faith in your God to see you all through the journey.

Caring from afar is an amazing gift as well – because it means I have my parents to keep caring for.

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[1] http://www.nia.nih.gov/sites/default/files/SoFarAway.pdf

[2] Ibid, 38.

Finding Balance …

Over the last few weeks I had some extra time with my son and there were many times that I felt very lucky to be so fortunate.  I know a lot of parents who rarely get the types of quality time I get to enjoy.  However, there were also a few times that I was seriously considering military school (and I’m a pacifist).  Being a parent means everything to me but it is also hard work.  There are times when I know it is worth it – times when his compassion and care for others make me proud, times when he looks out for others in ways that make me smile, and times when he displays awareness about the world that shows what a wise old soul he has.  Being a parent is fun most of the time.

There are times when being a parent takes so much effort and time that I wonder how I will be able to do it.  There are times when being a parent makes me crazy with worry and anxiety.  And there are times when being a parent makes me feel like I am doing God’s work preparing the next generation to walk in faith.

Finding the time and effort is sometimes hard.  I am answering my call in ministry teaching pastors to preach the Gospel.  I am working hard to be the hands and feet of Jesus as I work for justice in my community.  And including him in my work for justice means he sees me live my faith and he gets to follow that example.  But the one of the most important things I do for God – is being a parent.   Making the time is vital.  No matter how busy my work and personal life become – I have to find balance so that my son knows he is my priority. 

I thank God every day for the blessing of my son, who is adopted from an orphanage in Yekaterinburg, Russia.  His mother left him in the hospital after giving birth.  She told a nurse there that she could not afford a child and that her family would not allow her to bring him home.  Because of her amazing gift of love – our family was formed.  And despite my pre-teen parenting frustrations, I am doing God’s work.  And the young man God sent our way is proof that God is good.

Grace and Peace –

Karyn