I am not a patient person. I fully admit that
fact. I am anxious for things to happen. I work on a schedule and plan ahead.
So I always take something with me to grade, read, play with, or otherwise keep
my brain, hands and spirit engaged. Normal time lapses do not make me too
crazy.
But hospital time is ridiculous. I was in the
ER and hospital for 24+ hours with a dear friend who had chest pain and
shortness of breath. And I can attest with no reservations that hospitals exist
in a totally different time continuum than my own. It seems that time in
hospitals runs more slowly than anywhere else in the world. Time almost seems
to run backward. And at times it seems not to move at all.
Nurses, aides, PAs and doctors are busy and
amazing people. They do very tough jobs and work long hours. They are part of a
noble calling. I admire them immensely, but they work on a schedule that is
completely unfamiliar to me. I feel like a foreigner in a strange land. A land
where waiting is the norm.
We have waited for tests to be run, waited for
a room, waited for dinner, waited for test results, waited for blankets, waited
for doctors, and waited for news about dismissal from the hospital. Throughout
this time - the professionals all around us are busy, polite, engaged,
compassionate, and caring. But they cannot speed up a system that runs on a
different time continuum. No one can.
So we sit here waiting. Knowing that God has
led us through this amazingly tough scare. Knowing that we are being cared for
in remarkable ways. Knowing that people are taking care of Shelby with great
joy and care. Knowing that we are blessed to have the insurance to not be
overly traumatized by the stay in the hospital. Knowing that there are many
folks who live in this limbo of "medical time" way too much of their
lives. Knowing that we are not alone - that many of our family and friends have
reached out to us in remarkable ways. Knowing that God is with us and is
guiding us with grace and love.
Knowing all of this is amazing. Knowing that God
is in control and not my desire for time to run on my needs is a learning
experience. Knowing that I still need to work on this is ok. God is not done
with me yet, evidently.
Knowing you all care about us is a
blessing. Thanks.
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