When Will It End?

Today I awoke like everyone else to hear about another school shooting.  This one was in Chardon, Ohio where one student died and four others were shot by a classmate who opened fire in the school cafeteria.  It has been an all too common thread in our society – mass shootings at school, in church, at home, and in the workplace.  Mass shootings taking place to supposedly right some wrong – perceived or real – are happening far too often.

On Tuesday, April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School in Columbine, Colorado, 12 students and one teacher were killed by two of their classmates.  Another 21 students were injured.  Watching the chaos was disturbing and haunting.  Today brought back memories of that day in 1999.

It was a horror to watch then and many talked about ways to combat the violent responses by teens who are outcasts, from broken homes, depressed, bullied, into violent gaming, etc.  Yet here we stand again in the midst of another mass shooting.  We don’t yet know all the details but early reports suggest this young man was angry, bullied, and an outcast.  Whatever his reasons for shooting his fellow classmates – it was not the answer.

The obvious questions will continue to be asked – where did he get the gun?  Was it a legal purchase?  Was it an unsecured gun?  What had happened in his life to bring him to this point?  Where was his family?  What role could teachers and counselors in the school have played in preventing this horror?  What could other students have done to reach out to this young man?  What made him target those particular students?

But there are no easy or fast answers.  

Right now I pray for the family of the student killed, for those who were injured and their families, for the alleged shooter and his family, for those students who escaped injury, for the community of Chardon, for the teachers and staff of the school, for the parents who worried about their children, and for God presence in all of this.

I wish I could snap my fingers and end bullying.  I wish there was not a way these troubled and bullied people could get their hands on firearms.  I wish these situations would become a tragic memory of the past never to occur again.  I wish bullying would never end forever.  I wish violence was not seen as an answer to slights and pain.  I wish all gun violence would end.  I wish for peace in the midst of this chaos and pain. 

Until then – we pray for all of those involved and for our hurting world.  We pray for a faith that sets us free from violence and pain.  We pray.  Lord, in your mercy.

Lessons from 9/11

On the morning of September 11, 2001 I was at home in Kansas City, Kansas awaiting the time to leave the house for a doctor’s appointment.  I was watching the Today show when they went live to a camera showing the World Trade Center Towers after what they thought was “an incident involving a small plane that had hit the North Tower.”  I was watching live with countless millions as a second plane hit the South Tower of the World Trade Center buildings and then watched in stunned silence as it became clear that this was more than a small plane accident.  I stayed home for several hours watching the coverage.  I was shocked and amazed at the depth and breadth of the destruction as the towers fell two hours after the initial incidents.  At the time, I did not know that a friend from Kansas City was at a meeting in the South Tower and that she had perished. I did not know the firefighters and police officers running into the buildings to help others but was stunned by their bravery.  I did know people who lived in New York and was nervous about their safety.   It was a rough morning for all.  Then we learned about the additional attack on the Pentagon and the crash of United Airlines Flight 93 in Shanksville, PA.   I was terrified and I was unsure how far the attacks would spread.  Many in our country and around the world felt the same way.

The news was devastating.  How had this happened?  Who had done it?  Why had they killed so many?  Where was this event taking our country?  These and many other questions hit me all at once and stayed with me for some time.  Like others – I did not have answers.

In the days and weeks to come, we would learn that Al-Qaeda, an extremist group of Muslims, had perpetrated the attacks and that nearly 3,000 people had perished – Christians, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Americans, Israelis, Canadians, Brits, Indians, transit cops, firefighters, police officers, office workers, restaurant employees, investment bankers, secretaries, lesbians, gay men, married people, singles, and others representing 372 foreign countries.

The effects of the attacks of 9/11 are still being felt in the US and beyond.  The health of many who survived the attacks and those who worked in rescue and recovery efforts has been greatly affected as well.  Lower Manhattan will never be the same, neither will the US.  The people who lost loved ones on the planes, at the Pentagon, and in the attacks on NYC will continue to deal with their loss their entire lives.  There are children who are growing up without their parent and young people are getting married without their Father or Mother to be there with them.  Spouses are living without their beloved partners.  There are families who have never recovered from the loss of the bread winner in their home.  The lives lost in wars against Al-Qaeda cannot be replaced and their sacrifice must be honored, but the war on terrorism continues to go on without much evidence of it ending any time soon (despite the death of Osama bin Laden).  The cost of these efforts on our economy is immeasurable. 

So what have we learned?  Many still believe that all Muslims are evil and that Islam is a violent religion because of the extremists who led the attacks.  Many still believe in conspiracy theories that the US might have even been part of the attacks in some way.  Many continue to distrust anyone who looks “other” than themselves when boarding planes.  Many continue to have their lives affected by the hate that marred that terrible day.

But this year – the 10^th anniversary of the attacks – I believe it is time to think differently.  It is time to finally turn the page on hate.  It is time to stop believing the worst about others based on their religion or other differences (real or perceived).  It is time to celebrate our shared human experience.  Others have unfortunately shared our experience in the last 10 years – with terrorist and hate attacks in Mumbai, Norway, the UK, South America, many countries in Africa, Indonesia, and too many others.  We are not alone in our grief and indignation. 

But we can be united in our love for one another, our acceptance of our differences, our calls for justice, our desire for peace, our honoring of our heroes, and our belief in the human spirit.  On this 10^th Anniversary of 9/11 – I choose peace, love and acceptance – all tempered with a cry for justice in all things.

New Shoes and No Bullying

School starts next week in Philadelphia and my family has made the usually trek to buy school supplies.  We got 14 (yes, 14) composition books, glue sticks, crayons, markers, protractor, pencil box, book covers, folders, and pens/pencils.  We send our son to a school that requires school uniforms so we also bought the required shirts, shorts and gym uniforms.  And we had to buy the required shoes.  Yes – the required shoes.  They are black dress shoes that he will wear with either his short or long pant uniforms.  They are chunky and are not cheap.  All summer my son has worn Crocs or tennis shoes – or nothing at all.  Now he is going to be wearing these heavy dress shoes for school.  (He also has to wear a tie when he wears long pants but that is potentially a whole different post).  The chunky shoes mean something.

Putting on the big boy shoes means school is upon us.  Buying school supplies means the summer is about over.  We are entering into Labor Day Weekend and that means back to school for my son and back to work for me.  So I am mourning a bit, but I am also ready.  This has been a great summer but it is time to get back into a regular routine.  School does that for families.  It puts them back into a routine of waking, working, studying, and homework.  It is usually a time of anxiety for younger kids starting to Kindergarten for the first time, for Middle Schoolers entering into a new school, or High Schoolers heading into a major change of their lives.  It also happens for college students and professors, which is what I am.  So back to school leads many to feel queasy, uneasy, anxious, etc.  It is also a time for new possibilities, connecting to old friends, learning new things, and amazing opportunities.  It is a time to make new friends and a time for new adventures to stretch us.

But it is also a time when some students dread the inevitable painful experiences of being treated as outsiders.  Bullying and teasing kids for being different happens all the time.  It is an unfortunate part of school.  I experienced it growing up.  Many have in their lives.  Some say it is simply a natural part of school.  I disagree completely.  It is something that should not only be discouraged, but should be removed from our school environments completely.

Recently a post started circulating around Facebook.  It said …

See that girl right there?  The one you just called fat?
She's been starving herself, and she's lost over 30 pounds.
The one you just called stupid?  She has a learning disability, she studies 6 hours per night.
The one you just called ugly?  She spends over 3 hours putting makeup on.
The one you just called baby? You would be crying too if your mother was dead.
The one you just tripped?  I think she's abused enough at home.
There's a lot more to a person than you think.  Stop bullying those who are different.

You cannot tell enough by just looking at someone who they are inside, but folks try all the time.  They look at someone and make assumptions about who they are, what their lives are like, how they express their personhood, and what they believe.  And then they use those assumptions to tease, belittle, bully, and abuse those “other” than themselves.  It is time we started a new school tradition – one where we accept each other.  I realize I may be idealistic and unrealistic but I believe we can achieve it.  Talk to your kids about bullying – so they will not participate in it, so they know what to do if it happens in their presence to others, and so they will know who to talk to if they are victims.  But bullying happens outside of school, too.  So talk to them about cyber-bullying and how they can avoid it, report it, and help their friends who might be cyber-bullied.  

One person at a time can make a difference.  You can make a difference … and so can you kids.  Educate them to be kind, to be accepting of others, to not use derogatory words or phrases, and to report bullying to teachers and administrators.  You can make a difference. 

Walking to End Gun Violence

One thing that is very important to me is being an active participant in my community. Another thing that is important to me is setting an example of social justice involvement for my son.  One last thing that is essential to me as a person is working to end gun violence in our society.  So when I moved to Philadelphia, a city with a large gun violence problem, getting involved with the issue was a natural fit for me.  I am on the board of a group called Neighborhood Partners to End Gun Violence, a local affiliate of Heeding God’s Call.  “Neighborhood Partners (NPEG) is devoted to reducing the number of persons injured and killed by the use of handguns that are obtained by straw purchases and then distributed or sold on the streets illegally. It consists of numerous churches, synagogues, and civic organizations in Philadelphia and is affiliated with the faith-based group Heeding God’s Call.” (NPEG Facebook page)

This group is not trying to stop others from legal gun ownership or recreational use of guns.  We are, however, trying to end the practice of straw purchases at gun shops.  This practice is when a person, who cannot pass the background check, enters a gun shop with someone they have paid, who can pass the check, to purchase several guns at one time.  These guns often make it into the hands of criminals in our city and the resultant violence from these weapons is criminal.

One of the things this group does is hold vigils in front of an area gun shop to try to convince them to sign a Code of Conduct pledge that Wal-Mart and other gun shops have signed to make sure their gun purchases are all legal and aboveboard.  Some may disagree with this endeavor but it is something I believe in passionately.

So we pray as a group and carry signs asking for the gun shop owner to sign the code.  A sign I love to carry says, “Honk to end gun violence.”  We get a LOT of honks.  It is something I take my son to.  He walks the “picket” line with me.  He is passionate about it as well.  He says it is his way to affect the future where he lives.  And it makes me proud that he has over half a dozen picket line experiences under his belt. 

As I said – I am not trying to stop anyone from buying or owning guns (even though I wish that for our culture).  I am trying to make my community a safer place for my family and for other families in the city and wider world.  And as I walk the picket line – or vigil line – or sign line (I really do not like the language that is available for what we are doing but will use it for now) – I know I am doing a small part to make the world safer and less violent.  Some folks do not like what we are doing but for me and my family – it is an important part of our faith and community life.  And walking for justice with my son is an amazing thing.  

We walk for those who can’t.  We walk to make a point.  We walk to change hearts and minds.  We walk to make a difference.

What are you walking for?  For what cause are you giving your time and your efforts?  May you find something that gets you on your feet and into your community.

22,000 Caylee Anthonys a Day

This week has been an odd one for news junkies.  I like staying up to date on politics and the world, but this week news outlets have been full of Casey Anthony updates – Breaking News Flashes and in-depth analysis.  (Several talking-heads seemed about ready for their heads to explode the day the verdict came down. )   The news of her acquittal of murder and child abuse charges sent shock waves in many circles.  Many were angry and outraged over the “miscarriage of justice.”  They were incensed that Little Caylee did not get justice.  A cry went out to light front porch lights in honor of her memory.

My Facebook and Twitter literally BLEW UP with comments condemning the jurors as idiots and morons, calling the justice system a mockery, and calling for Casey to burn in hell.  There were entire comment streams debating whether or not it was “Christian” to call on her banishment to hell.  Some posted warnings that Casey had better get out of town before someone took “justice out on her a$$.” The vitriolic language surprised me.  There were calmer heads out there but they were quickly hushed by the negative comments.

I had not followed the case closely, but had heard enough to know that most experts thought she would be found guilty.  I was not infested in it but know many who were.  The truth is that our system of justice is sometimes – ok, maybe more than sometimes – flawed.  But it is the best system we have.  And honestly I would want 10 guilty people to go free with a valid process before one is unjustly convicted. 

So my quandary is this – how do we “get justice for Caylee?”  Do we convict a person without appropriate proof of the crime?  Do we condemn Casey to hell?  Is this an eye for an eye situation?  How do we equate our Christian values of forgiveness and reconciliation with this?  What does it mean to be a Christian and still be angry?

I wish I had easy answers, but there are not any.  It is hard to live up to our call as persons of faith to be lovers and reconcilers.  But that is what we are called to do and be.  No matter how hard it is to believe, Casey Anthony is a child of God.  She is a lost and flawed child of God, but all of us are as well.  I do not wish to judge her but know she needs a lot of love and support.   I deplore acts of violence – by anyone against any person, but especially against children.  So I am saddened by the loss of Caylee.

But every day there are 22,000 Caylees who die around the world – of gun violence, abuse and neglect, hunger and often preventable disease, etc.  That is one child every 4 seconds.  That is 15 children every minute.  An American child is reported abused every 10 seconds.  34 people die every day of gun violence.  These facts anger me – my righteous indignation flares up about these things and I am working to make changes. 

We can all help the unknown victims – by honoring all of them, by working for change, and by being present in the lives of all the kids around us.  So tonight and every night – my porch light will be on because I want to be a light in the darkness for all of the children who die needlessly every day around the world.

But turning on the light is not all I am going to do.  What about you?