Bent But Not Broken

This has been an impossible week of tragedy and triumph, brokenness and bravery, gory injuries and graciousness, terror and tenacity, angry words and awakenings, betrayal and blessing.

We started the week with the horror of the bombings at the Boston Marathon. The tragedy unfolded to reveal the deaths of three beautiful souls and the maiming of so many others. The losses will affect these victims, survivors, and their families for the rest of their lives. But out of it we also witnessed the triumph of the human spirit as first responders and regular citizens rushed toward the blasts to help others in need. The number of injuries and the gruesomeness of the injuries was devastating. The reality that humans did this to others was alarming and disheartening.

We moved quickly into learning that our elected officials refused to vote the will of 90% of the American people to extend the reach of background checks for gun purchases. It was a devastating loss for sensible legislation to curb gun violence. It was a crushing blow to many who have worked tirelessly for this goal. The refusal by the Senate to say NO to the NRA was painful.

This week was also marred by the mailing of ricin filled letters to a US Senator and to the President of the United States by an angry, bitter man bent on hurting others. The depth of hatred and destruction some will stoop to saddened us.

We entered into a wave of destruction once again as a fertilizer plant in West, Texas caught fire and the very firefighters who answered the call were trapped in the blaze. The explosion filled the earth with fire and fear. Fourteen persons were killed – ten of them first responders – and hundreds were injured. The loss of life and the destruction of homes and businesses will reshape and affect that community for decades to come.

The manhunt for the bombing suspects continued in the city of Boston and the surrounding communities as we moved into the later part of the week.  Word of gunfights, a carjacking, and tossed IEDs and grenades sent a wave of fear once again racing through those in the area. When word came that the first suspect was dead and later that the second had been arrested - cries of relief and gratitude poured forth from the people of Boston and around the country.

In the midst of this we learned of a massive earthquake that struck China. Hundreds are likely dead and thousands injured. The loss is tremendous and gut-wrenching. We are left to watch rescue workers rush into collapsed building debris to find survivors and everyday heroes are lending a hand. Once again we cried out in anguish.

And we are left to wonder ... Did this week suck or what?

Yes. It did. There was destruction, brutality, tragedy, terror, and betrayal. And it saddened us beyond words.

But there was also amazing heroism, bravery, tenacity, unity, and love. Bostonians opened their homes to people needing a place to stay. People in Texas rushed to help and supported the families of the firefighters killed and injured and helped persons who lost their homes. Citizens in Boston and China with no medical training came to the aid of their brothers and sisters in need and made us proud. Law Enforcement officers did their jobs with amazing tenacity and professionalism that made a city want to collectively hug them all. And a determined and brave former congresswoman, Gabby Giffords, vowed to not give up the fight on guns and tens of thousands of new folks joined her in the quest.

This week bent us - but it did not break us. It did not break us because in all of these situations people of good will banded together to react positively and to respond together. It did not break us because we joined forces regardless of gender or sexuality or age or faith or other differences.

But we did bend folks - some used the actions of a few to lump an entire religion’s followers into the role of "bad guy." Some used coded language about "brown skinned people” and "not being American enough." Some blamed gays or the government or conspiracies or each other for the danger and fear. Some assumed evil intent too quickly. Some made statements on social media that all "foreigners should be kicked out now." Some in the news media failed on so many levels.  And so did some of our leaders.

We bent. But we did not break - we are a strong people. And we are stronger together. We are better when we reach out to help and when we hold each other accountable. We are better when we understand that we are all children of God.

Our brothers and sisters in China, Boston, Texas, and around the world deserve our prayers. The victims, survivors, first responders, and those affected by these events are due our respect.

The circumstances of this week needed quiet respect and honor instead of politics, protests, and positioning. The events of this week were worthy of our best and in so many ways we rose to the occasion. But we need to be better. We need to work harder at keeping the hate, distrust, and anger at bay. We need to be more willing to wait for the right answer and not the quick one.

We bent this week folks – and we need to learn from that. But we did not break – and we need to celebrate that.

Blog … Resolutions For a Better 2013 - Cynicism be Damned

After this year of mass shootings, economic hi-jinks in Congress, hateful political rhetoric leading up to the election, one absurd celebrity incident after another, discord and division in every realm of our society, and failed attempts at being a better people - I am tempted to be cynical about 2013. But somewhere deep inside me there is still that kid who gathered with her family around a table on New Year’s Day to eat black-eyed peas for good luck and share the resolutions we made for the new year.

I have not really made personal resolutions the last few years because I typically fail at keeping them within the first few months of the year. But this year I want to try something new – I want to make some for our society. And yes, we may fail in the first few months of the new year but I want to put them out there anyway … and will continue to pray that we try to make them come true.

First, let’s resolve to end the culture of obscene violence in our society. Let’s end the sale of assault and assault-style weapons outside of the police and military. Let’s end the production of and sale of high volume ammunition clips. Let’s set an example as a culture that has been intimately damaged by the slaughter of the innocents and chooses to do and be better as a result. Let’s be a society that values life more than the 2^nd amendment. This does not preclude hunters from being able to hunt or cops and military personnel from having the weapons they need to protect us but regular citizens do not need assault weapons or high volume clips. Our society will be better for it.

Second, let’s resolve to be more loving of one another. Let us take care of those around us who are weak, mentally and physically impaired, destitute, sick, and/or living in poverty. Let’s resolve to do the right thing for our neighbors so that they feel love in their lives in ways that are profound and personal. Let’s be willing to show mercy to those in need and not require some means-test from them to be considered worthy of that help. Let’s be our best selves and help others to be their best selves as well. Our society will be better for it.

Third, let’s be more tolerant and accepting of those with whom we disagree or with whom we have profound theological, political, or cultural differences. Let’s look for our similarities instead of always focusing on the differences first. Let’s be kinder to one another – in our real lives and in the digital world. Let’s have civil conversations and listen to the opinions of the others in our lives. And let’s show this to our children as the way to honor each other’s uniqueness so that the next generation learns from us. Our society will be better for it.

Fourth, let’s be a people of faith who trust each other again despite our diverse faith traditions. Let us be a people who honor the faith of others in profound and important ways while still being true to our own beliefs. Let’s be people of faith who welcome the stranger, visit the imprisoned, help the sick, bring the wounded stranger from the side of the road into a place of care, and accept that we can make a difference in the lives of others by being true to the God who love us all. Our society will be better for it.

Lastly, let’s be a people who are open to affirming the rights of others. Let us see persons of color and work to right the injustices inflicted upon them. Let us listen to the stories of injustice of the LGBT community and honor them with acceptance and greater moves toward full inclusion. Let us hear the desperation of kids in failing school systems and work to make things more just for all kids needing to be educated. Let’s see the elderly and little kids as the gifts they are and cherish them in ways that protect their safety and care for their needs. And let us make the effort to be connected to each other – not just on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest – but in real life. Let us reach out and make a difference in our world. Our society will be better for it.

Maybe we will fail at these … but isn't it worth the effort to try? And to keep on trying no matter what?

Our society will be better for it.

No words ...

There are no words to express the deep sorrow and grief that the families of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting are feeling. We lift them up in our thoughts and prayers. We ask for God's comfort and grace in this tragic moment - a moment we have endured too many times. 

Lord, in your amazing abiding mercy, we send our thoughts, prayers and positive energy to the children, parents, siblings, staff, administrators, first responders, and community members in Newtown, CT.

God, in your mercy. Christ, in your mercy. Spirit, in your mercy.

Hear our prayers.

When Will It End?

Today I awoke like everyone else to hear about another school shooting.  This one was in Chardon, Ohio where one student died and four others were shot by a classmate who opened fire in the school cafeteria.  It has been an all too common thread in our society – mass shootings at school, in church, at home, and in the workplace.  Mass shootings taking place to supposedly right some wrong – perceived or real – are happening far too often.

On Tuesday, April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School in Columbine, Colorado, 12 students and one teacher were killed by two of their classmates.  Another 21 students were injured.  Watching the chaos was disturbing and haunting.  Today brought back memories of that day in 1999.

It was a horror to watch then and many talked about ways to combat the violent responses by teens who are outcasts, from broken homes, depressed, bullied, into violent gaming, etc.  Yet here we stand again in the midst of another mass shooting.  We don’t yet know all the details but early reports suggest this young man was angry, bullied, and an outcast.  Whatever his reasons for shooting his fellow classmates – it was not the answer.

The obvious questions will continue to be asked – where did he get the gun?  Was it a legal purchase?  Was it an unsecured gun?  What had happened in his life to bring him to this point?  Where was his family?  What role could teachers and counselors in the school have played in preventing this horror?  What could other students have done to reach out to this young man?  What made him target those particular students?

But there are no easy or fast answers.  

Right now I pray for the family of the student killed, for those who were injured and their families, for the alleged shooter and his family, for those students who escaped injury, for the community of Chardon, for the teachers and staff of the school, for the parents who worried about their children, and for God presence in all of this.

I wish I could snap my fingers and end bullying.  I wish there was not a way these troubled and bullied people could get their hands on firearms.  I wish these situations would become a tragic memory of the past never to occur again.  I wish bullying would never end forever.  I wish violence was not seen as an answer to slights and pain.  I wish all gun violence would end.  I wish for peace in the midst of this chaos and pain. 

Until then – we pray for all of those involved and for our hurting world.  We pray for a faith that sets us free from violence and pain.  We pray.  Lord, in your mercy.

Doctor Who and My Faith

My family is made up of late arrivals to the Doctor Who phenomenon.  We came to it backwards.  We saw the Torchwood: Miracle Day series on STARZ last year and then watched the earlier episodes of Torchwood through DVDs from Netflix.  That led us to try Doctor Who, the series from which Torchwood evolved.  So now we are seeing some of the earlier incarnations of Doctor Who – played by other actors from the previous ten evolutions of the series.  But we are obviously enamored with Matt Smith’s Doctor Who, since he is the first one we became acquainted with.

What I love about Doctor Who is the humor, the camp, the adventures, the mythology, the companions, the history lessons, The Doctor himself, and the Tardis.  I love that The Doctor and his companions can enter into their time travelling machine – the Tardis – and go on amazing adventures (and I love that it is bigger on the inside than it appears on the outside – isn’t that a great image?).  The Tardis is a Time and Relative Dimension in Space vehicle.  It is spacecraft and time machine.  It is healing station and information portal.  It is a place for reconnecting and for flights of fancy.  It is a place of hospitality and a place of community.  It is a place of salvation and a station for regeneration for The Doctor.  And it is oh so cool!

Theology may not be an active part of the writers’ process, but maybe they are thinking of their own understanding of faith as they write – I don’t know.  I sometimes hear it in the dialogue and sense it in the mythology.  And it makes me happy to watch the shows.

The Doctor is not a human but often must act humanely.  He is often arrogant, cheerfully fun, and completely goofy.  He struggles with what it actually means to “be human” and marvels at the capacity of those humans around him both for grace and for violence (in a recent episode humans are cloned and some of their “Gangers” are completely like the originals and others are not – so it begs the questions “what does it mean to be human?” “And what does it mean if the “Ganger” is more human than the original human?”).  There are some both inside and outside of the show who talk about the double meaning of the word “doctor” – one means healer and the other means warrior.  The Doctor certainly creates this sense of dichotomy.  He is an interesting character.

There is a constant struggle between good and evil on the show.  There is even an episode with angels – who are none too nice in the show.  And there is a clear import to the companionship between The Doctor and those who travel with him.  There is a community between The Doctor, Amy Pond, Rory Williams, and River Song – they are family and they care for each other, are devoted to one another, and protect each other (Rory even stands guard over Amy for 2,000 years in one episode).  The Doctor – an amazingly talented and powerful being with a fantastic “sonic screwdriver”– is constantly in need of the assistance of Amy and others.  The communal nature of the story appeals to many people – as does its sense of the need for others in our lives.

I am not saying that Doctor Who has deep spiritual meaning or that The Doctor represents any deity whatsoever – absolutely not.  What I am saying is that it speaks to my faith and my own struggles with being human, dealing with issues of good and evil, trying to make sane decisions in difficult situations, being part of a community/family, and remaining faithful to one’s true convictions despite the circumstances.  

So I’m gonna stay a Whovian for a long time.  I love it.  I love its seriousness and its silliness.  So I include the video below for fun.  Enjoy!

Hate in a Smiley Face Card

I received my first anonymous hate mail today at my school.  It came in a card shaped envelope with my (misspelled) name typed on the front with my school address.  Inside there was a cute smiley face card.  I opened it and found a typed note – it was nasty and vile and attacked me personally.  The language was ugly and it sent me spinning for a bit.  I was not prepared for the reaction I had to it.

I have always taught my seminary students that there will likely never be a day in ministry when someone is not upset with them.  Often these folks let us know when they are frustrated with us either by confronting us in person or calling us to talk.  Sometimes they act out in a committee meeting or other group to let us know their feelings.  But this felt different.

I have been picketed by Fred Phelps’s church, Westboro Baptist, after being interviewed for the Kansas City Star followed General Conference in 2000 when they reaffirmed the language in our Discipline (church law) forbidding gays and lesbians from being ordained.  I stated in the article that I was pained by the decision and hoped we moved toward full inclusion someday.  Westboro picketed my church the next week.  It was nasty and painful, but this felt different.

This time it was anonymous.  In church ministry we often know when folks are upset.  When Westboro picketed me I knew who they were and why they were there.  But this was different – this felt so personal.  It was aimed at me personally.  So it felt personal.

The smiley face threw me off.  The cute and sweet smiley face that has always stood for fun and humor made it feel safe to open. That’s exactly what they expected.  They expected me to open it thinking it was safe.  And they expected it to hurt me, which it did.

And that made me mad.  I was upset about the power of that card to make me feel badly.  I have heard for years that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  But that is bunk.  Words do hurt.  And words have power.  We have to choose to use our words for good and to not give too much power to those that aim to hurt us.  I gave those words too much power today, but I also knew I just had to process it some.

This evening I found out several other seminary professors around the country got the same cards today.  So it was not just me – and that helps in some way but also makes me even more determined to NOT let them win.

We have made someone mad – by speaking the truth about our beliefs or about who this person believes us to be.  Whatever the cause I will not be deterred.  I will continue to be who God made me to be.  I will continue to speak the truth and cry out for justice in many different ways.  I will continue to try to counter hate with love.

And no little smiley face card filled with hate will stop me.  So whoever you are … you DON’T win.  Love does.

Time for the Church to Occupy!

Part of an interfaith service at Occupy San Francisco.

As I write this I am recovering from a viral inner ear infection called labrynthitis and sitting in my house with heat, electricity and cable.  When I got sick I called my primary care physician and got in the next day.  I received prescriptions from him and went to a local pharmacy and got them filled.  My insurance paid all but $8 of the bill. I have an amazing job I love that provides me with insurance and payments into my pension account.   My home is not luxurious but is quite adequate for my family.  I have money in my bank account and get to do things with my family that are fun and interesting.  My child goes to a safe and excellent school.  My extended family is relatively healthy and most have good jobs and stable families.  I am lucky. 

I know this intuitively but often get caught up in the issues of my days and weeks and forget.  I know this but sometimes I – probably like many of you – need a reminder.  A transformer blew outside my house yesterday morning and I was without electricity for all of 2 hours.  It was inconvenient but my house was warm and I had things to do to occupy my time.  I have friends in areas affected by the recent storms that are on day 5 without power.  I am lucky.  I know this.

As I write this Occupy Wall Street protesters are sitting in the cold and enduring the elements to protest an immoral, greedy, and unjust economic system that keeps the poor in poverty and protects the rich.  Members of the global community have been rebelling over the last few months in a number of ways.  The Arab Spring has removed dictators from several countries’ leadership and brought new levels of freedom to peoples of the world.  Women in countries where they have limited rights are crying out for education, driving privileges, and voting rights.  Seeking a better world and gratitude for these changes is everywhere – it seems.

Occupy movements are springing up all over the world.  Many are collecting donations of food and are feeding not only those in the movement but the homeless in their areas as well.  This kind of egalitarian and compassionate living is not just being protested for – it is being lived out by their actions.  They are doing what many of us would like to do – but we feel compelled to stay in our own cocoons of safety or are too scared to be part of it or we don’t know how to be part of it all.  Sometimes their purpose seems scattered and I wonder how their efforts may actually create change – but I am grateful they are there.  And I too am figuring out how I can be part of it.

Where is the church in all of this?  I think we ought to be right in the middle of these movements.  I know of clergy groups walking with Occupy across the country.  Ministers are offering pastoral care and Eucharist to those who wish.  Many churches have

Marilyn Sewell, in a recent article on Huffington Post, said, “The church's proper role is to stand on the side of the disenfranchised and to call out wrongdoing and injustice in our society. Jesus did not say," I have come that you might be comfortable." He said, "I have come that you might have life." OccupyWallStreet has given the church an opening, a decisive moment in history. The Holy Spirit is not on the side of safety and stability. When will the church find its prophetic voice?”

It’s time to occupy a sense of thankfulness for all that has and is changing.  It’s time to occupy and take advantage of our opportunity to speak out against injustice, greed and immortality.  It’s time for the church to speak prophetically.  We sit too safely in the cocoons of our worship spaces – we need to meet the people in our communities where they are, we need to stand for something, we need to cry out against violence and abuse, and we need to be the church reaching out to the world.  We need to occupy the places where marginalization is happening and to close those gaps.  This is the time and the church is able.

We are fortunate, many of us, so we should be grateful and honor where we are in life.  And that allows us to speak – we have to utilize that right and responsibility. 

It’s time – let’s occupy.

Being Too Full for Words

I have not posted in a bit and there is a legitimate reason … I promise.  I could not find words to express the past 10+ days of my life.  Sometimes we are so full from the buffet of blessings and smorgasbord of experiences that we cannot find words to speak.  That is what I experienced the past few weeks.  It was something I will not soon forget.  My cup runneth over ...

My seminary faculty had a retreat away from campus weekend before last that was a blessed time of reflection, camaraderie, and visioning.  We discussed some important topics for the future, found some time to toss around a Frisbee and had a blast together as friends and colleagues.  On Wednesday a group in Philadelphia I am working with, Neighborhood Partners to End Gun Violence, held a rally naming the 186 persons killed by gun violence in our city since Jan. 1, 2011 at City Hall with t-shirts representing all of them.  This was a moving and emotional day as I was asked to read 50 of the 186 names.  Just thinking about the lives cut short, the relationships not solidified and the futures not realized was stunningly poignant.  On Friday I taught a workshop on Preaching, Hunger and Justice to persons preaching on the issue on World Food Day in October.  It was so amazing to be in the same room with these folks who are so committed to alleviating hunger and poverty.  On Saturday I watched my pre-teen son play soccer with several family members – one of whom had never seen him play.  It was delightful to listen to the kids and parents scream with passion and energy.  We even had a DirectTV blimp flying overhead (although I think they were there for another reason).  On Sunday evening I was at the organizing convention of P.O.W.E.R – Philadelphians Organized to Witness, Empower and Rebuild with almost 3,000 other people working with 40+ churches and communities of faith to improve job availability, education, health care, housing, and public safety in the city of Philadelphia.  It was an awesome sight to see this interfaith gathering of folks committed to justice making for the people of Philly.  The week also included my regular teaching schedule, faculty gatherings on several topics, church committee work, and student conversations.   My cup runneth over ...

It was a full week – in the amount of time that was involved for these projects and activities AND in the emotional investment so many put into these events.  So many times last week I said the words, “Lord, help me be open to all you are blessing me with this week.  Help me be your vessel.”  There were days I came home bone tired and very weary.  But at the end of every one of those days – I knew how blessed I was to participate in the events and activities I had been part of.   My cup runneth over ...

The week was full – in so many ways.  And I thank God for allowing me to be part of all of it.  Even when I had no words to express my emotions – the fullness of my life is a blessing. My cup runneth over! I am so grateful that I have work, a family, a life, and a faith community that fills me with blessings all the time.   My cup runneth over ... What a joy!  I’ll take full anyday!

Lessons from 9/11

On the morning of September 11, 2001 I was at home in Kansas City, Kansas awaiting the time to leave the house for a doctor’s appointment.  I was watching the Today show when they went live to a camera showing the World Trade Center Towers after what they thought was “an incident involving a small plane that had hit the North Tower.”  I was watching live with countless millions as a second plane hit the South Tower of the World Trade Center buildings and then watched in stunned silence as it became clear that this was more than a small plane accident.  I stayed home for several hours watching the coverage.  I was shocked and amazed at the depth and breadth of the destruction as the towers fell two hours after the initial incidents.  At the time, I did not know that a friend from Kansas City was at a meeting in the South Tower and that she had perished. I did not know the firefighters and police officers running into the buildings to help others but was stunned by their bravery.  I did know people who lived in New York and was nervous about their safety.   It was a rough morning for all.  Then we learned about the additional attack on the Pentagon and the crash of United Airlines Flight 93 in Shanksville, PA.   I was terrified and I was unsure how far the attacks would spread.  Many in our country and around the world felt the same way.

The news was devastating.  How had this happened?  Who had done it?  Why had they killed so many?  Where was this event taking our country?  These and many other questions hit me all at once and stayed with me for some time.  Like others – I did not have answers.

In the days and weeks to come, we would learn that Al-Qaeda, an extremist group of Muslims, had perpetrated the attacks and that nearly 3,000 people had perished – Christians, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Americans, Israelis, Canadians, Brits, Indians, transit cops, firefighters, police officers, office workers, restaurant employees, investment bankers, secretaries, lesbians, gay men, married people, singles, and others representing 372 foreign countries.

The effects of the attacks of 9/11 are still being felt in the US and beyond.  The health of many who survived the attacks and those who worked in rescue and recovery efforts has been greatly affected as well.  Lower Manhattan will never be the same, neither will the US.  The people who lost loved ones on the planes, at the Pentagon, and in the attacks on NYC will continue to deal with their loss their entire lives.  There are children who are growing up without their parent and young people are getting married without their Father or Mother to be there with them.  Spouses are living without their beloved partners.  There are families who have never recovered from the loss of the bread winner in their home.  The lives lost in wars against Al-Qaeda cannot be replaced and their sacrifice must be honored, but the war on terrorism continues to go on without much evidence of it ending any time soon (despite the death of Osama bin Laden).  The cost of these efforts on our economy is immeasurable. 

So what have we learned?  Many still believe that all Muslims are evil and that Islam is a violent religion because of the extremists who led the attacks.  Many still believe in conspiracy theories that the US might have even been part of the attacks in some way.  Many continue to distrust anyone who looks “other” than themselves when boarding planes.  Many continue to have their lives affected by the hate that marred that terrible day.

But this year – the 10^th anniversary of the attacks – I believe it is time to think differently.  It is time to finally turn the page on hate.  It is time to stop believing the worst about others based on their religion or other differences (real or perceived).  It is time to celebrate our shared human experience.  Others have unfortunately shared our experience in the last 10 years – with terrorist and hate attacks in Mumbai, Norway, the UK, South America, many countries in Africa, Indonesia, and too many others.  We are not alone in our grief and indignation. 

But we can be united in our love for one another, our acceptance of our differences, our calls for justice, our desire for peace, our honoring of our heroes, and our belief in the human spirit.  On this 10^th Anniversary of 9/11 – I choose peace, love and acceptance – all tempered with a cry for justice in all things.

New Shoes and No Bullying

School starts next week in Philadelphia and my family has made the usually trek to buy school supplies.  We got 14 (yes, 14) composition books, glue sticks, crayons, markers, protractor, pencil box, book covers, folders, and pens/pencils.  We send our son to a school that requires school uniforms so we also bought the required shirts, shorts and gym uniforms.  And we had to buy the required shoes.  Yes – the required shoes.  They are black dress shoes that he will wear with either his short or long pant uniforms.  They are chunky and are not cheap.  All summer my son has worn Crocs or tennis shoes – or nothing at all.  Now he is going to be wearing these heavy dress shoes for school.  (He also has to wear a tie when he wears long pants but that is potentially a whole different post).  The chunky shoes mean something.

Putting on the big boy shoes means school is upon us.  Buying school supplies means the summer is about over.  We are entering into Labor Day Weekend and that means back to school for my son and back to work for me.  So I am mourning a bit, but I am also ready.  This has been a great summer but it is time to get back into a regular routine.  School does that for families.  It puts them back into a routine of waking, working, studying, and homework.  It is usually a time of anxiety for younger kids starting to Kindergarten for the first time, for Middle Schoolers entering into a new school, or High Schoolers heading into a major change of their lives.  It also happens for college students and professors, which is what I am.  So back to school leads many to feel queasy, uneasy, anxious, etc.  It is also a time for new possibilities, connecting to old friends, learning new things, and amazing opportunities.  It is a time to make new friends and a time for new adventures to stretch us.

But it is also a time when some students dread the inevitable painful experiences of being treated as outsiders.  Bullying and teasing kids for being different happens all the time.  It is an unfortunate part of school.  I experienced it growing up.  Many have in their lives.  Some say it is simply a natural part of school.  I disagree completely.  It is something that should not only be discouraged, but should be removed from our school environments completely.

Recently a post started circulating around Facebook.  It said …

See that girl right there?  The one you just called fat?
She's been starving herself, and she's lost over 30 pounds.
The one you just called stupid?  She has a learning disability, she studies 6 hours per night.
The one you just called ugly?  She spends over 3 hours putting makeup on.
The one you just called baby? You would be crying too if your mother was dead.
The one you just tripped?  I think she's abused enough at home.
There's a lot more to a person than you think.  Stop bullying those who are different.

You cannot tell enough by just looking at someone who they are inside, but folks try all the time.  They look at someone and make assumptions about who they are, what their lives are like, how they express their personhood, and what they believe.  And then they use those assumptions to tease, belittle, bully, and abuse those “other” than themselves.  It is time we started a new school tradition – one where we accept each other.  I realize I may be idealistic and unrealistic but I believe we can achieve it.  Talk to your kids about bullying – so they will not participate in it, so they know what to do if it happens in their presence to others, and so they will know who to talk to if they are victims.  But bullying happens outside of school, too.  So talk to them about cyber-bullying and how they can avoid it, report it, and help their friends who might be cyber-bullied.  

One person at a time can make a difference.  You can make a difference … and so can you kids.  Educate them to be kind, to be accepting of others, to not use derogatory words or phrases, and to report bullying to teachers and administrators.  You can make a difference.