In the song, "Growing Older,
But Not Up," Jimmy Buffet sings about the idea of growing older but still
having a sense of fun and play by not fully growing up. He is experiencing the
realities of growing older - pain, creaking joints, brittle bones, etc. - but
he is determined to live to the fullest.
He proudly proclaims, "I'd rather die while I'm living than live
while I'm dead."
I am a 50 year old woman who
likes to watch action movies, go to the park, golf or putt-putt, and spend time
on the beach. I play video games with my son and go out for fun on date night.
I laugh at life and at myself ... often.
But I also spend a lot of time
paying bills, cleaning house, working for my professional advancement, grading
papers, writing my next book, and taking care of "grown-up" things.
They take up too much time, but I actually took some advice growing up to find
something I love to do and figure out a way to get paid for it. I do love my
job.
I have joints that creak and more
than one story of a bone breaking without much drama involved. I feel my age some
days more than others. There are times I crackle and pop more than a breakfast
cereal. It is all part of growing older.
But being a "grown-up"
can be rough at times. There are days I just want to sleep until noon and pull
the covers up to make the world go away. There are days when I want to slap on
the skis and go up the chairlift to take on a black diamond run again. There
are days that I want someone else to be the grown up so that I can go play.
And there are days when I wish I
could go back and be a 20 year old taking on the world all over again with new
possibilities. (And there are definitely a few things my older self would tell
my younger self NOT to do the second time around).
However, when I stop and look at
my family I am amazed. I sit and watch my 14 year old son - who is annoying,
amazing, compassionate, grumpy, messy, intelligent, creative, loving, and
talented - and I cannot imagine my life without him. My immediate and extended family
makes me a better person and adds joy to my life daily. I can't imagine not
having them in my life.
I think back on the amazing years
of classroom experience I had in Texas teaching History, Government, and
Geography to sophomores and seniors and I would not pass that up. What fabulous
memories I have of those days creating a game called Wheel of Feudalism for my
students and playing Trivia with Historic facts and figures. How would I teach
seminary students today the way I do without those early experiments with
engaging learning?
I reminisce about helping my
sister raise her two daughters while she was going back to school. I would not
trade that time with Jordyn and Jonna for anything in the world. They are
brave, bold and independent young women. And I can see glimpses of me in both
of them and that makes me proud. How would I trade that in for being young
again?
I remember the many lives I
touched and was touched by in ministry as a United Methodist pastor in Kansas
and New Jersey and I would not change a thing. I remember the 11pm Bible
Studies at Kansas State and the Campus Ministry and Youth trips to Tennessee
and Chicago. I remember the hospital
visits, a wedding when the drapes caught on fire, and the many baptisms I was
privileged to be part of. I went to countless lock-ins and had more bad pizza
than I care to remember. (A big reason I rarely eat it now.)
So I am growing older. And I am
growing up. I don't want to miss out on the amazing things that have happened
and that are yet to happen. I want to live fully into my old age. I want to
remember all of these great experiences and have even more with my family, in
the classroom, and with my writing/scholarship.
But I'm still gonna play. I'm
going to take off on a Wednesday afternoon and go see an action movie. I'm going
to go play putt-putt with the family, I am going to go to the beach and be lazy
or maybe float for hours on the waves. I am going to go to Beer-B-Q events with
my Lutheran friends even though I do not drink.
I am going to throw the frisbee
and tickle my almost grown son. I am going to run off to see a musical in the
city when I can. I am going to play video games with my kid and go on walks
through the woods. And I am going to sleep-in on occasion and pull the covers
up to make the world go away.
But only for a little while.
Because my life is too amazing and too rich to miss anything - past, present or
future.
I'm growing older, but not up to
the point I forget to have fun.
So I share a favorite prayer --
"In Christ's name we play."
Go have fun. Enjoy the day.
Be a kid again - just don't wish
your life away.
Go live it.
