Not the Happiest Time of Year for Everyone …

 Growing up, I was sick a lot. And when I say a lot ... I really mean it. Epilepsy, allergies, lots of infections, double viral pneumonia, etc. I spent a lot of time with doctors and with my mom and dad waiting for doctors. It was just part of my life growing up. I got used to it.

Some of the time we were certain of what was going to go on when we walked into the office ... like the regular neurological visits when they would do an EEG to test for seizure activity (I was lucky to have outgrown my epilepsy). Some of the time I was hoping for a quick in and out ... but it was a long wait and I got a shot when I was sick. Some of the time it was for tests ... and they would stick my back and arms for allergies and I would react to just about all of them.

One of the sickest times of the year was always around Christmas. I would be ill from late in the month of November to early January (the same time we had a tree in our home). We began to suspect that it was my allergies. When they tested me for about 500 items, I was allergic to over 400 of them. And I was allergic to just about every type of evergreen there is. So we got rid of our live tree and evergreens and have had artificial trees ever since.

That solved the issue for the most part but it does not solve it completely. I still have to be in places with live trees and greens and they are not easy places for me to be. I visit homes that have pets and evergreens and come home sick. It is kind of hard to avoid at times – especially around Christmas.

I take meds and precautions - sometimes even taking too much just to survive. But still it is a miserable time of the year allergy wise.

Today I was at my church - a church I dearly love - and found that their method of hanging the greens this year meant no safe space for those of us with allergies. It was beautiful and miserable all at the same time.

As I sat there feeling sorry for myself and others who were suffering, I was reminded of all of the people for whom the holidays are especially difficult. Some due to illness, some due to the loss of a loved one, and some due to a dislike of the consumerism and greed that seems to have infected the season. There are many reasons why this time of year is hard for folks. Some of those reasons are very personal and private.

But there reasons are very real. We hear songs about this being the happiest time of the year, but for many it is a time of torment and suffering - depression and anguish. For some it is painful, dreadfully lonely, and a reminder of just how blue they feel. For some it is a constant drumming of joyful songs all around them in the midst of feeling very little joy themselves.

I love Christmas - especially with artificial trees and greens - and live trees from a distance.  When I was a pastor, my churches all switched to artificial greens and trees while I was there which was very kind and caring of them. My family loves their artificial tree now and we never miss the "real thing." Adaptations helped me a lot.

So I pray for folks for whom this time of year is tough. You don't have to fake happy for us. You don't have to say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to us. Many of us will try to be sensitive to your needs and not push our love of Christmas off on you - though unfortunately not everyone will be aware of your feelings.

You don't have to love the lights and carols. You don't have to explain that going to the Mall this time of year is just too much for you. You have the right to feel and experience the holidays as you need to.

Just know that we see you. We know you are there and we acknowledge that this time of the year is tough for you. We feel it too at times. Know that you are loved.

Whether your Christmas is decidedly red and green or some shade of the blues - you are special and God's beloveds.

Feel that, if you can, and know you're not alone.

Mother Nature

I remember seeing the Chiffon margarine commercial growing up where Mother Nature gets angry that this new invention is not real butter and causes a storm. She exclaims, "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature!"  She actually kinda scared me some.  This week the East Coast has experienced the biggest earthquake in history and as I sit here typing we are waiting for Hurricane Irene to get to us in Philadelphia.  Many wonder ... Who made Mamma Nature so angry?

Others think it is something more divine and celestial. The inevitable "God is punishing ____________ for something" statements have been flying fast and furious. They are often related to storms.  They seem to come regularly when bad things happen. But they are not confined to natural disasters, even though they seem to come most often after these events. Divine punishment for evil has been proclaimed after Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, the Haiti Earthquake, and the tsunami in Japan. I have to say that this drives me crazy.

For my entire career I have taught about a divine, graceful, and loving God. Yes, there are images of an angry God in the Bible, but Jesus' life and love bring a new understanding of God that moves beyond this. But the image persists of an angry, retributive God who punishes humans for "bad or evil choices." The interesting thing is the groups that get portrayed as causing these punishing events. It is usually blamed on those already on the margins of culture ... thus moving these groups even further away from acceptance and understanding.

I believe we - as humans - have adversely affected our natural world and some of the storms we are suffering from are the result. But I do not believe that God chooses to hurt huge groups of people to as punishment for a small group.

I believe God loves us and mourns when we hurt. I believe God is a merciful God who forgives our short comings and bad choices. I believe God wants the bests for humanity. I believe that God is with us in the storms - not sitting back causing them.

And I believe storms will continue to come and people will continue to say God is angry. But I believe they are wrong. God loves us too much to do that. That's what I believe.  And I am sticking with it.

Now ... Mother Nature? She' a whole nother story.

Why Does My Technology Hate Me?

I am on my 4^th Kindle since Christmas 2010.  Some have crashed on their own and one because I dropped it.  And so I sat waiting as each one was shipped out by Amazon to me one by one.  My smartphone has been replaced at least once.  And it always required some sort of wait until the new one arrived.  My Plasma TV went out last month and since it was barely out of warranty, Samsung replaced it for a small exchange fee.  We sat and watched a little bitty TV for over a week waiting for the new one.  I have already had to have Dell replace a dud laptop once.  Now my new laptop (the replacement I got from them in November of 2010) is heating up and acting strange.  I got a box from Dell today for me to ship it off for service.  My technology woes are legendary on my Facebook page.  Every time I post something about a tech issue – folks comment that technology and I do not seem to mix.  But we have to.

My job is to teach young ministers to preach, to engage social media in their ministries, and to utilize imagery in their multi-media sermon preparation.  I teach using PowerPoint and media displays.  So using technology is something that I do every single day – it is part of my working life.  Add to that my personal use of technology for Facebook, email, news, blogging, etc.  It seems that tech is a big part of my life. My phone keeps me connected and my TV helps to entertain me.  I read a LOT and have found my Kindle to be an amazing gift for ease of access to all kinds of books.  I am on my laptop almost every evening and sometimes during the day as well.  I need my tech.

But once again I will be without my laptop for a week to ten days.  I do not want to do it.  I know I have an old back up to use but it makes me nervous that I might be disconnected for a while.  Or that I might be connected slowly … that my old computer will be so slow it may not be worth being online at all. 

When I discovered how nervous I was feeling about sending my computer off again – I had to stop and think about my addiction to tech.  I feel like I need to check my Facebook, process my email, and read friends’ blog posts on a regular basis.  I don’t think I am alone in this.  Many people are connected too much to their technology today.  Families sit at dinner and never speak as they play games and surf on their mobile devices.  Teens sit in the same room and text each other rather than risk being overheard by others.  Parents sit at their computers and fail to be there for their kids.  Not everyone is like this – but it is easy to get sucked into the cycle of gadget addiction.

So maybe this imposed vacation from my laptop will be good for me.  And maybe it will drive me over the edge.  Either way – it seems I need it.

Fears, Smears!!

Many of us have fears.  They are more common than most people believe.  Common ones include: fear of flying, fear of speaking in public, fear of heights, fear of dark, fear of intimacy, fear of death, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of spiders, fear of flying, fear of water, fear of dogs, etc.  The list goes on and on.  As a preacher and preaching professor I do not have the fear of speaking in public (but I do still get nervous).  I do not shriek at the sight of mice or spiders.  And I am a calm flyer.  Dogs – well, I am allergic to them and their fur/licking creeps me out but I am not afraid of them.  So when I think of fears, I am not sure if I actually have a fear of something other than fear of failure.  But fear of failure is one I think almost everyone has. 

But I have friends and family who live with significant fears.  I have a friend who cannot drive over bridges without having an anxiety attack.  I have a Mom who never learned to swim so we grew up with her serious discomfort around water.  I have a colleague who is terrified of flying so he drives to every conference or family event he has to go to – even driving days without stops to avoid flying.  And I have a best friend who is afraid of heights.  She got caught at the top of a Ferris wheel one time and now is terrified of heights and specifically of Ferris wheels.

We were recently in Chicago together and visited Navy Pier.  On my plan for the day was riding the giant Ferris wheel.  On her list was avoiding the Ferris wheel at all costs.  For those who are uninitiated this Ferris wheel is “150-foot-high. Modeled after the world's very first Ferris wheel, an engineering marvel constructed for Chicago's 1893 World Colombian Exposition, the Navy Pier Ferris wheel lifts visitors to unparalleled sweeping views of the skyline and lakefront. The Pier's wheel has forty gondolas seating six passengers each.” (From Navy Pier publicity)

So there we were … standing just 50 yards away from this behemoth and I ask casually, “Wanna try to conquer a fear and ride the Ferris wheel?”  I just knew she would say no.  But out of her mouth came – “well …”  I knew it was time.  I showed her that this Ferris wheel does not stop – it just slowly moves and you hop on.  She agreed so I quickly ran to get our $6 tickets and got in line.  So we did it.  We rode the Ferris wheel and got some amazing pictures of the Chicago skyline. It was thrilling and not as scary as she thought (after one initial anxiety filled minute).

Upon our return to the ground, I was delighted with and proud of my role in helping her overcome this great fear.  (LOL!) More importantly, she was proud of herself.  She had faced a fear and taken the ride of her life.  Actually, overcoming fears is something that is quite hard but it also something we all need to do.  We need to confront what makes us afraid and do what we can to overcome those fears.  Not all of them can be overcome without intervention or counseling – so I do not want to belittle anyone’s fears.  But I do want to address those things that keep us from moving forward.  When we allow our fears to keep us from being our best selves, we need to do something about it.  When we allow our fears to keep us from experiencing life and all it offers us, we need to do something about it.

I believe God is a gracious and powerful God who is present with us always.  So when I am afraid I try to remember that God is there holding me and comforting me.  I believe that and it gives me great comfort.  It may not feel like it helps if ever a BIG fear hits me upside the head but I live in the belief that I can do all things with God.  So bring it on!!