Bent But Not Broken

This has been an impossible week of tragedy and triumph, brokenness and bravery, gory injuries and graciousness, terror and tenacity, angry words and awakenings, betrayal and blessing.

We started the week with the horror of the bombings at the Boston Marathon. The tragedy unfolded to reveal the deaths of three beautiful souls and the maiming of so many others. The losses will affect these victims, survivors, and their families for the rest of their lives. But out of it we also witnessed the triumph of the human spirit as first responders and regular citizens rushed toward the blasts to help others in need. The number of injuries and the gruesomeness of the injuries was devastating. The reality that humans did this to others was alarming and disheartening.

We moved quickly into learning that our elected officials refused to vote the will of 90% of the American people to extend the reach of background checks for gun purchases. It was a devastating loss for sensible legislation to curb gun violence. It was a crushing blow to many who have worked tirelessly for this goal. The refusal by the Senate to say NO to the NRA was painful.

This week was also marred by the mailing of ricin filled letters to a US Senator and to the President of the United States by an angry, bitter man bent on hurting others. The depth of hatred and destruction some will stoop to saddened us.

We entered into a wave of destruction once again as a fertilizer plant in West, Texas caught fire and the very firefighters who answered the call were trapped in the blaze. The explosion filled the earth with fire and fear. Fourteen persons were killed – ten of them first responders – and hundreds were injured. The loss of life and the destruction of homes and businesses will reshape and affect that community for decades to come.

The manhunt for the bombing suspects continued in the city of Boston and the surrounding communities as we moved into the later part of the week.  Word of gunfights, a carjacking, and tossed IEDs and grenades sent a wave of fear once again racing through those in the area. When word came that the first suspect was dead and later that the second had been arrested - cries of relief and gratitude poured forth from the people of Boston and around the country.

In the midst of this we learned of a massive earthquake that struck China. Hundreds are likely dead and thousands injured. The loss is tremendous and gut-wrenching. We are left to watch rescue workers rush into collapsed building debris to find survivors and everyday heroes are lending a hand. Once again we cried out in anguish.

And we are left to wonder ... Did this week suck or what?

Yes. It did. There was destruction, brutality, tragedy, terror, and betrayal. And it saddened us beyond words.

But there was also amazing heroism, bravery, tenacity, unity, and love. Bostonians opened their homes to people needing a place to stay. People in Texas rushed to help and supported the families of the firefighters killed and injured and helped persons who lost their homes. Citizens in Boston and China with no medical training came to the aid of their brothers and sisters in need and made us proud. Law Enforcement officers did their jobs with amazing tenacity and professionalism that made a city want to collectively hug them all. And a determined and brave former congresswoman, Gabby Giffords, vowed to not give up the fight on guns and tens of thousands of new folks joined her in the quest.

This week bent us - but it did not break us. It did not break us because in all of these situations people of good will banded together to react positively and to respond together. It did not break us because we joined forces regardless of gender or sexuality or age or faith or other differences.

But we did bend folks - some used the actions of a few to lump an entire religion’s followers into the role of "bad guy." Some used coded language about "brown skinned people” and "not being American enough." Some blamed gays or the government or conspiracies or each other for the danger and fear. Some assumed evil intent too quickly. Some made statements on social media that all "foreigners should be kicked out now." Some in the news media failed on so many levels.  And so did some of our leaders.

We bent. But we did not break - we are a strong people. And we are stronger together. We are better when we reach out to help and when we hold each other accountable. We are better when we understand that we are all children of God.

Our brothers and sisters in China, Boston, Texas, and around the world deserve our prayers. The victims, survivors, first responders, and those affected by these events are due our respect.

The circumstances of this week needed quiet respect and honor instead of politics, protests, and positioning. The events of this week were worthy of our best and in so many ways we rose to the occasion. But we need to be better. We need to work harder at keeping the hate, distrust, and anger at bay. We need to be more willing to wait for the right answer and not the quick one.

We bent this week folks – and we need to learn from that. But we did not break – and we need to celebrate that.

You Are Enough – Period!

 In one of my preaching classes, a student stood up to describe their (see comment below post) preaching context for the sermon they were about to preach. They described the small local church, the working class community, the "low" church liturgy they used, and the liturgical season for the preaching moment. Next they read the text and did a brief extemporaneous prayer. So far the student had been conversational, relaxed, and engaging. I was listening to the same person I heard speak in class on a weekly basis. I was anticipating the sermon to be similar in tone and presence. So I sat back to listen.

However, when the sermon started the voice changed, the body posture tensed, and the entire presence of the preacher became more formal and quite forced. They were rigid and uncomfortable. And the voice coming out of their mouth was not the same voice we had just heard in the intro or in class. They were using what many call a "preacher voice."

The other students in the room noticed it and I could see several of them tense up as well. The student preaching went on - seemingly unaware of what was happening in the room - in an almost otherworldly manner. They seemed disconnected from us and from the context they had described earlier, which was a casual and family centered congregation. The student had told us how much their folks seemed to love stories, but in this sermon the only story told was about a context quite unlike the one they described before the sermon.

And as the student preached I knew the student was doing what many beginning preachers do ... they were trying on a persona that they assumed was needed for the task of preaching. It was, after all, their very first sermon ever preached. They had not grown up in the church but had witnessed some preaching on TV by several celebrated preachers. From this limited experience, they formed their "voice" for that preaching moment.

And it fell flat. It did not sound authentic or genuine. It sounded stilted and unnatural. No matter how the listeners tried, they explained later, the "voice" and persona the preacher "put on" turned them off. One of the students asked if this style of preaching was part of their tradition and the preacher responded, “Not really.”

We follow a process of affirmation and growing edge sharing after each sermon and the listeners mentioned the difference but it was clear that they were treading softly with the preacher.

So I met with the student privately and showed them the video I had made of their sermon. We watched their context sharing, the text reading and the prayer and then we stopped the video. I asked the student to share their thoughts and they liked what they saw.

Then we started the sermon and the student, a few minutes in started getting more and more uncomfortable. I stopped the video and we talked.

Basically the student thought preachers were supposed to sound a certain way - based on their limited experiences of seeing preachers portrayed on film and TV and by watching a few TV preachers on Sunday mornings.

The real issue became clear – the student did not know how to be themselves in the preaching moment. They thought that they needed to “be” something else to get people to listen.

And it happens in more than just in preaching. Often we have a hard time fully living into being ourselves – our true selves. We question whether or not being who God made us to be in enough. We question if being who we are will be accepted by others.

But I firmly believe God has made us to be who we are and we are enough. We are good enough. Whatever God has called you to do and be – you were called for who you are. You were called because you are enough.

We may sometimes want to change who we are by putting on a different voice, or pretending to be someone we aren’t, but the truth is – you are a beloved child of God. God made you and you are enough.

Sure we all want to slim down, color out the grey if it bothers us, or keep hidden a part of us we don’t want others to see or know about. And all of that is ok if we still know we’re beloved.

But we also have to know – really know – that we are enough. We are who we were made to be … or we’re working on getting there.

I know I’m enough … and sometimes too much … and there are things I need to work on … but I am enough.

And so are you!

(I did not use "he" or "she" in this post intentionally as I did not want the assumed gender of the preacher to get in the way of the post. It may seem clunky or annoying to the reader but it was intentional.)