Worship is Not Just for “Natives”

The other day I was asked by a pastor friend why some of his newer members sometimes ask “clueless questions” about worship.  “They should know this stuff,” he said.  It was an “aha” moment for him when I asked if these folks had grown up in the church.  They hadn’t.  Then he said, “Well, I guess I’m the clueless one.”  It was an odd conversation because I would think it was obvious – but all of my church visits over the past few years have proven how out of touch many of our churches are with those who did not grow up in the church.

I have led, participated in, and sat in worship services all of my life.  I was raised as a Preacher’s Kid and have been a United Methodist clergyperson for 20 years.  Being part of that means I have been in a lot of worship services.  One thing I have worked very hard to keep in mind as a worship leader is that not all of the folks sitting in the pews know the language, practices, and rituals of worship.  Many worship services assume a level of understanding that is just not true anymore.

People are not as denominationally loyal today as they once were and many have not grown up in the church.  When they do make the effort to come to church seeking a connection to God we should do all we can to welcome them and make the worship service as accessible as possible.  First and foremost we need to create worship that is awe inspiring and praises God.  We need to create worship that connects us to God, makes the Gospel story of Jesus Christ come alive, and empowers us with the Holy Spirit.  We need to create worship that is rich with the sacred and ritual that help us experience God’s presence.

However, we too often create worship that is for “natives” – those who are part of the insider culture of the church.  We too often create worship that is not inclusive of children and folks not part of the traditional church culture.  We often create worship that does not speak fully to the needs of the people in our pews and definitely does not speak to the needs of those who are not usually present.

I am not saying we do worship poorly.  We often do amazing worship.  We frequently create and participate in worship that feeds the people present.  We often lay out a banquet of Gospel and Grace that nourishes and enlivens.  However, too many are still walking away starving.  Our worship is regularly too heady and lacks passion and engagement.  And often it assumes a level of experience and knowledge that is dangerously unaware.  We use books for worship that can be confusing and difficult to use – and we do not help people with them.  We use prayers and litanies that insiders know and others do not – and we assume those not used to the words will figure them out.  We use language that not everyone in the room understands – and hope they “get it.”

I think we all need to examine our worship and our preaching to make sure it is accessible to folks who may not know the secret handshakes or have insider status in our churches.  We need to use language and images that bring life and depth to our worship and preaching that anyone could understand.  We need to enrich our worship and spirituality with rich spirituality.  We need to create environments of welcome and are multi-sensory. 

We definitely need to feed the folks in our pews, but if we starve those who show up without experience in our faith traditions – we have failed them.  We can do better.

A recent article on United Methodist Communications website addresses this topic and offer 5 trends in worship to address the needs of those who are not traditionally part of our worship.  You can see this article at -http://www.umcom.org/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=mrLZJ9PFKmG&b=6084879&ct=11231005&notoc=1

The Care and Tending of Clergy

When I was pastoring a church full time I heard many of my pastor friends talking about burnout and dissatisfaction with their vocation.  As a seminary professor I hear students excited about entering into ministry but hear from them several months or years into their calls who say “you did not tell me about all this stuff I have to deal with.”  (I know I did tell them but they were so idealistic they only heard the good stuff.)  I teach students that pastoral ministry is the most blessed and holy thing they will ever do – but it is the most frustrating and draining thing that they will ever participate in as well.  I often hear some stories of vocational celebration and blessing – but all too often the stories I hear are heartbreaking.

Taking on the mantle of spiritual leader, pastor, chaplain, or minister is a major life decision.  It means taking the risk to respond to the call of God on your life.  It will affect your family and your personal relationship (as seen in the data below).  It will affect your spirituality and your health.  It will bring you amazing fulfillment and take you to the depths of despair.  It will cost you friendships and potential relationships.  It will test your limits and limit your vision, especially on bad days.  These are realities – unfortunately – of this vocation. 

But it will also bring you closer to God and to the people of God.  It will bring you into moments of sincere need at the bedside of a dying person and into moments of beautiful grace at the baptism of a new baby.  It will take you to the altar to celebrate the Eucharist and to the pulpit to preach the Gospel of grace and love.  It will allow you to bless relationships at their beginnings and to celebrate the lives of those who have died.  It will offer moments of amazing connection and possibility.

I pray for all of those who answer the call to pastoral ministry.  I was asked to lay hands on a friend at her ordination last night and felt so blessed to be asked to do so.  I said yes because I believe in persons answering that call to serve God.  But I also know the toll it can take on the person who answers and all who love them.

The way to answer and not become a statistic like those below is to pray daily, take a day off weekly and weeks off each year, rest your body, mind your relationships, spend time with God, nurture your creative side, pray, take care of your body and soul, play with your kids and other children in your life, find a hobby that makes you happy, go to the movies, pray, go on dates with your spouse or significant other, read a good mystery, pray, spend time with a friend, and stay connected to God. 

Don’t become a statistic.  Take advantage of your relationships with other clergy to watch out for each other.  Find a place to talk with someone who can help you.  Do not Lone Ranger your ministry.  Do not become a statistic of pastoral ministry – be enriched by it.

And to all laity out there – take care of your clergy leaders.  Make sure they take their days off – you get your weekends, clergy usually do not.  Ask them about how they are doing and pray for them daily - and for their families.  Love your pastors but hold them accountable for their self-care.

The care and tending of clergy takes a village – treat yourself and the clergy in your life with care.  God chose, called, equipped, commissioned and sent them – God deserves the best from us in helping them answer their call.

Stunning Clergy Statistics:

·         90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.

·         80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor’s children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.

·         95% of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouses.

·         33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.

·         75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.

·         90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.

·         80% of pastors and 84% of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged as role of pastors.

·         90% of pastors said the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.

·         50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.

·         70% of pastors constantly fight depression.

·         70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.

·         70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.

·         40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.

·         33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church.

·         50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

·         70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid.

·         50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.

·         1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.

·         94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor’s ministry.

·         80% of spouses feel the pastor is overworked.

·         80% spouses feel left out and under-appreciated by church members.

·         80% of pastors’ spouses wish their spouse would choose a different profession.

·         66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than them.

·         The profession of “Pastor” is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above “car salesman.”

·         4,000 new churches begin each year and 7,000 churches close.

·         Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.

·         Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month, many without cause.

·         Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.

·         Many denominations report an “empty pulpit crisis.” They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.

(Pastoral Statistics provided by the Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.  Thanks to http://barefootpreachr.org/2011/10/12/pastor-are-you-simply-a-statistic/ for this information) 

Suck It Up and Lead!

I remember when I was first elected to office – it was for a youth group office in our local church.  I was excited to be elected as a “leader” and was ready to “lead” the youth.  I was pumped.  My job though was the Treasurer and the Youth Leader was the one who really had the power to spend money for the group.  I was a leader with no real power.  I was a leader with no real job.  It kind of frustrated me.  I was taking my job seriously but it was not a very serious job.  However, as a young leader I wanted to make the best of my role and I worked with the other youth and adult leaders on creative ways to both make money for our group and to donate funds to charities we thought were important.  It was a lot of fun.  Years later I remember making an impact and being proud of that effort.

Today our political leaders have a serious job – and they are not taking it seriously.  They are playing politics with the budget, our debt, and with the American people themselves – and they are taking for granted the trust of their voters.  I am so tired of their games.  The shenanigans that are going on in Washington are despicable.  The way our politicians understand leadership is so foreign to everything I believe it is.  It is almost as if they are completely disconnected from reality.  They don’t seem to know what leadership means. So …

Leadership –noun

1.the position or function of a leader: He managed to maintain his  leadership of the party despite heavy opposition.

2. ability to lead: She displayed leadership potential.

3. an act or instance of leading; guidance; direction: They prospered under his leadership.

(From www.Dictionary.com)

The definition of leadership is to function as a leader and to guide.  But it also implies the ability to lead.  Maybe that is our issue?  Perhaps we have leaders who do not have the ability to lead in Washington.  But they are there – and they have a job to do despite their abilities or lack thereof.  So our elected politicians need to lead.  They need to put the best interests of the people – especially the last, the least, and the lost of our society – in front of their need for political gains.  They need to be more concerned with the future than their immediate games.   They need to work together instead of working to one up each other.

I am a person of faith – and I believe the decisions we make reflect our values.  Decisions that put persons already in precarious situations – the elderly, the poor, and those on fixed incomes – in further distress are immoral.  Fixing our mess of an economy on the backs of those who have little resources is just wrong.  It is time for our leaders to lead.

Maybe I am unrealistic but surely our leaders can find a way to lead.  Isn’t it time for that?  It’s their job!  So suck it up and lead!