Being One of a Kind

 My Mom used to tell me that I was one of a kind. I knew she meant that I was not like my two sisters – who were one year older and one year younger than me. And I knew that she meant that I was different from the other folks my age as well.

I was always unique and marched to the beat of my own drummer. I read thousands of books, even ones the county librarian tried to talk me out of and called my Mom about.  I was a feminist in 1970's redneck West Texas. I wore a t-shirt that read, “A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle.” I did not follow the crowd and made my own way. I was certain that following the crowd was wrong and that I was supposed to do something different.

It was not always easy. I was teased and made fun of at times. I was made to feel different and was, on more than one occasion, taunted fairly viciously. It was not fun. Growing up different is tough. No matter the reason one finds themselves being considered different – gender, theology, sexual orientation, religion, wealth, educational level, political beliefs, physical abilities, family issues, philosophy, size, clothing choices, gender identity, age, or whatever.

But despite that, marching to my own drummer has continued to be my style all of these years. Sometimes it has made me feel alone, sometimes it has made me feel extremely powerful, and sometimes it has made me just feel different.

Recently I read a story about a whale called “52 Hertz.” This whale has been tracked for years and goes his own way. He does not follow the normal migration pattern of other whales of his “kind.” He makes whale sounds that are on a different frequency than other whales – hence the name 52 Hertz. He was discovered about 20 years ago and continues to make his unique sounding whale call – and there seems to be no answer.

This whale is one of a kind. His sound is one of a kind. He swims the ocean alone, perhaps malformed or maybe a hybrid of two other forms of whales. He is alone – one of a kind – doing his own thing.

We have no way to know if he is lonely or depressed or enjoying his unique nature, but songs and stories have been written about his isolation and loneliness anyway.

You would think that receiving no answer to his unique whale song for decades would mean he might stop – but he doesn’t. He keeps on singing on his own frequency. And he keeps on swimming the North Pacific alone.

One of the amazing things about my own journey is that I have found others who are “one of a kind” as well. We have found each other – through our own “whale song” of sorts and we have found community in each other as we swim. Sometimes they stay for short periods and sometimes for longer. But I keep looking for the other “one of a kind” folks out there.

52 Hertz goes on and on – alone in the world.  He keeps on calling in his unique tone but for whatever reason he never receives a reply. I wonder if he just hasn’t found the way to talk in a way that others like him can understand. Maybe he’s just not accepted because he is so different. I pray for him to find peace and happiness – whatever that looks like for 52 Hertz. And maybe he is happy – we have no way of knowing what he feels. But I know what it felt like growing up as a “one of a kind” person. Luckily I have found peace and happiness.

And I pray for you to find that as well. I pray for you to find someone who can hear your whale song. Whether you feel like you will never be accepted or have already found others – keep calling … keep swimming. There are others out there listening.

You are not alone.

Link to an article about 52 Hertz: http://blogs.plos.org/mitsciwrite/2013/03/05/the-search-for-the-loneliest-whale-in-the-world-pt-1/

Blog … Resolutions For a Better 2013 - Cynicism be Damned

After this year of mass shootings, economic hi-jinks in Congress, hateful political rhetoric leading up to the election, one absurd celebrity incident after another, discord and division in every realm of our society, and failed attempts at being a better people - I am tempted to be cynical about 2013. But somewhere deep inside me there is still that kid who gathered with her family around a table on New Year’s Day to eat black-eyed peas for good luck and share the resolutions we made for the new year.

I have not really made personal resolutions the last few years because I typically fail at keeping them within the first few months of the year. But this year I want to try something new – I want to make some for our society. And yes, we may fail in the first few months of the new year but I want to put them out there anyway … and will continue to pray that we try to make them come true.

First, let’s resolve to end the culture of obscene violence in our society. Let’s end the sale of assault and assault-style weapons outside of the police and military. Let’s end the production of and sale of high volume ammunition clips. Let’s set an example as a culture that has been intimately damaged by the slaughter of the innocents and chooses to do and be better as a result. Let’s be a society that values life more than the 2^nd amendment. This does not preclude hunters from being able to hunt or cops and military personnel from having the weapons they need to protect us but regular citizens do not need assault weapons or high volume clips. Our society will be better for it.

Second, let’s resolve to be more loving of one another. Let us take care of those around us who are weak, mentally and physically impaired, destitute, sick, and/or living in poverty. Let’s resolve to do the right thing for our neighbors so that they feel love in their lives in ways that are profound and personal. Let’s be willing to show mercy to those in need and not require some means-test from them to be considered worthy of that help. Let’s be our best selves and help others to be their best selves as well. Our society will be better for it.

Third, let’s be more tolerant and accepting of those with whom we disagree or with whom we have profound theological, political, or cultural differences. Let’s look for our similarities instead of always focusing on the differences first. Let’s be kinder to one another – in our real lives and in the digital world. Let’s have civil conversations and listen to the opinions of the others in our lives. And let’s show this to our children as the way to honor each other’s uniqueness so that the next generation learns from us. Our society will be better for it.

Fourth, let’s be a people of faith who trust each other again despite our diverse faith traditions. Let us be a people who honor the faith of others in profound and important ways while still being true to our own beliefs. Let’s be people of faith who welcome the stranger, visit the imprisoned, help the sick, bring the wounded stranger from the side of the road into a place of care, and accept that we can make a difference in the lives of others by being true to the God who love us all. Our society will be better for it.

Lastly, let’s be a people who are open to affirming the rights of others. Let us see persons of color and work to right the injustices inflicted upon them. Let us listen to the stories of injustice of the LGBT community and honor them with acceptance and greater moves toward full inclusion. Let us hear the desperation of kids in failing school systems and work to make things more just for all kids needing to be educated. Let’s see the elderly and little kids as the gifts they are and cherish them in ways that protect their safety and care for their needs. And let us make the effort to be connected to each other – not just on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest – but in real life. Let us reach out and make a difference in our world. Our society will be better for it.

Maybe we will fail at these … but isn't it worth the effort to try? And to keep on trying no matter what?

Our society will be better for it.

Preaching Texts We Do Not Want to Preach

 I was asked months ago to provide pulpit fill for a Lutheran congregation in a suburb of Philadelphia for today's service. I agreed and put it on my calendar. I forgot about it until two weeks ago when I saw it on my calendar and scheduled some time for sermon prep as we got closer to the day. Then a week ago I looked at the texts from the Revised Common Lectionary for today. (This is the common list of scripture passages read on any given Sunday in many Protestant Churches throughout the world).

When I read it I nearly dropped my jaw to the floor. The Gospel reading was Mark 10:2-16. The passage is about divorce, adultery, Jesus being tested yet again by the Pharisees, and little kids coming to Jesus and being stopped by the disciples. I wished in that moment that I had looked at the readings before saying yes.

This happens sometimes. Preachers read the passages for a coming Sunday and literally cringe inside. Can I call in sick? Can that Sunday be a vacation Sunday? Then it hit me, the pastor I am filling in for took this weekend as vacation ... Hmmmm. Smart guy!?

Troubling preaching texts are found throughout the Bible. They are found in the war stories and "angry God" limited view of some Hebrew Bible texts. They are found in the epistles about the role of women in ministry right beside Paul welcoming Phoebe as a "deacon." They are found in the book of Proverbs' image of the "noble wife" and in epistle readings about wives’ submission to their husbands. They are found in the Genesis story of Lot being willing to send his daughters out to be raped. And they are found in the hard stories of betrayal and death in the Gospel account of Jesus' final week.

Many of my examples are about women today, but not all, because that is the topic that I am immersed in right now. I preached twice at the Lutheran Church today as pulpit fill-in and I am preaching in chapel at LTSP tomorrow. The text for tomorrow, you ask ... Matthew 5: 27-36. And what is that text about; you ask ... marriage, adultery and divorce.

Seriously? Yes, seriously. I kid you not.

How did this happen? I am a very smart cookie. How did I get into this fix? How is it that I am preaching three sermons in two days on two passages about divorce, adultery and marriage? Me? Help! Where is my vacation Sunday?

The truth is that pastors feel this way from time to time. We are sometimes faced with texts that are generally hard for everyone. And we are faced with tough texts because of a specific reality within our community of faith. And sometimes they hit us as problematic just because of our own life circumstances. It would be easier to run away from them at times. 

But we have to wrestle with these texts. We have to help folks see the deep contextualization of these texts and how they do not speak to us like they did when they were written (if they even did then). We have to help folks process what was happening then that brought about these challenging images, phrases, and texts. 

Maybe it is right that I am preaching on these texts, because right now I am struggling with what I believe about modern relationships, marriage and divorce. There is an entire group of people in our country who are barred from basic marital rights because the definition of marriage is so tied to cultural and religious understandings of that rite.

There are people in broken relationships, being abused and mistreated, and are forced to endure because they and their families have views on divorce that do not allow them to find healing and health away from their current spouse.

There are churches battling over whether or not it is right and appropriate to do civil unions for GLBT persons or to accept them at all in their churches. These are hard discussions for some, but for me it is crystal clear.

Covenantal relationships recognized by the state are due to all Americans, regardless of gender. Period. Now the hard part is the role of the church in this. In France rights from the state are bestowed by the state in a civil ceremony. Then if the couple chooses to be married in the church, they do so and have their unison blessed.  It works there.

I do not know if it would work here. But right now we have a problem. And preaching a word of grace about expanding our understanding of modern relationships is something I believe in to the core of my being. So being asked to preach on these texts is actually a gift. Maybe not for everyone preaching them this week, but is has been for me.  I have found it a blessing.

Next tough text ... bring it on.

My iPod Gives Me Whiplash

Music is something that has always fed me.  Music just makes me happy.  I remember singing with my parents as a kid, singing in church from an old hymn book, singing in my basement bedroom to music my parents hated, and singing lullabies with my son in a Russian orphanage when we went to adopt him.  Music has been a part of my life from my earliest memories.  I love pop, rock-in-roll, classical, country, jazz, Broadway musicals, Christian rock, blues, and more.  I love listening to music as we drive on trips.  I love listening to Christmas music as we decorate the house.  I love listening to jazz while I write.  I love listening to musicals and remembering being there in the audience in New York City.

Someone borrowed my iPod the other day and gave it back with this comment, “your tastes are certainly … ummm, eclectic.”  It sounded like a slam but I took it as a huge compliment!  However, I have to admit that here are times when my iPod gives me whiplash.  I had it on shuffle once (a mode that just randomly plays songs by various artists) and my head almost spun off my body.   First Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful Word” comes on – then Melissa Etheridge’s “I Run For Life” – then Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman” – then The Benedictine Monk’s “Puer Natus In Bethlehem” – then KT Tunstall’s “Black Horse and a Cherry Tree” – and finally Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.”  Whoa.  It was like having extreme fluctuations of emotions and psychological reactions.  Music takes us places – in our heads, our hearts, and our memories.  Mine was taking me too many places at once though.

When I think of music, I am reminded of falling in love with my spouse at an outdoor Peter, Paul and Mary concert (that I went to despite really, seriously not liking PPM at all).  I am reminded of the begging for countless renditions of “You Are My Sunshine” from my toddler son before bedtime. And I am reminded of the moments of my life that music has been a vital part.

Nearly everyone I know has a soundtrack for their lives, for their faith, for their kids, for their relationships, etc.  Music speaks to us in ways that transcend easy explanations.  Some folks like music that I am not attracted to – like Hip-Hop or Rap – but it speaks to them.  Some have strong negative feelings about Country – while it brings me back to my Texas roots.  Different strokes for different folks, but sometimes debates ensue.

One of the places where music disagreements occur on a regular basis is the church.  These musical arguments are actually part of what are called – The Worship Wars.  Some traditional church members who love classical music and organs turn their noses up at the use of secular music in worship.  While other church folks who embrace secular and contemporary Christian music in their worship services cringe at the 18^th and 19^th century classics of their counterparts.  Some churches try to ride the middle of the road and employ a strategy called Blended Worship.  Often blended worship does nothing but make both music style’s proponents mad.  But some churches have still made this work for them.  They honor traditional hymnody and also introduce their congregants to new music on a regular basis. 

The Worship Wars are a testy thing.  They are about one group of folks basically saying to another, “Your worship, your music, your way of expressing your faith is wrong and ours is right.”  In my opinion, it is a very privileged and ego driven position to take.  It also assumes that all folks in one community of faith are attracted to the same type of music.  I do not find that to be true generally.

Like my eclectic iPod – there are a number of music styles that feed people.  I do not want to only listen to classical music any more than I want to just listen to Queen.  I want to have a diversity of music genres at my fingertips, in my worship, and in my life.  The churches that attract younger folks, typically, (not always, but typically) embrace newer music, different musical instruments, and more contemporary styles of music.  The Church needs to embrace this.  Diversity is a gift – in people, in worship, in music, and in life. 

No wars for me.  Diversity rules in my music world.  And I hope it does in the church of the future as well.  Give me a musical whiplash any day of the week.