I Am NOT Old!

I went to get my eyes checked this week and had to list my age, allergies, and current prescriptions on the patient information page.  (Five meds I take daily.)  I had to list my allergies to medications.  (I had a couple. Namely, penicillin)  And I had to do a glaucoma and cataracts test.  (Good for now.)

Then I started the actual eye exam.  And the 20 something Doctor said to me, "At your age ... needing to go up in the power of the reading level of your no line trifocals is normal."

"At my age ...". Seriously?  I am not even 50 yet.  How old does the young man think I am?

Was that a slap at my age or just a simple statement by the guy?  It could be taken as either but I took it as a little bit of a slap ... even though I laughed with him.  I do have very salt and pepper colored hair (although more salt than pepper these days), but I am not even eligible for AARP yet.  I do have arthritis and high blood pressure (but I blame sports injuries and my family genetics for those).  I am one of the older parents of kids in my son's class but not the oldest.  And I guess I do have friends from high school who are posting pictures of their grandkids on Facebook. 

But I am NOT old.

Then I started thinking about age.  Was it really a slap?  My parents are in their mid-70s and are the youngest 70+ people I know.  And despite the periodic colds, sinus infections, and aches from arthritis - I am in good health.  Yes, I need to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better - all 2012 goals - but overall I am in good health.

Age is something we joke about as a culture.  Some folks hide or deny their age.  Some folks get plastic surgery to not look their age.  Some even try unconventional remedies to stave off aging.

Me ... not so much.  I will be 50 this year and I relish it.  I am enjoying my Jubilee year.  I have pretty grey hair and I earned every single one of them.  I have creaks and groans but I am still moving.  I have laugh lines by my eyes and I am glad I took the journey that gave them to me.

I have a son who keeps me young (he has also aged me but I like the other fact better). I have friends who keep me laughing and enjoying life.  I have a family that loves me and inspires me.  I have a vocation that lets me share who I am and my gifts in ways that make me light up constantly.

I have grown in faith over the years, become more confident with who I am, and lived through some tough times that helped me to be who I am now.  I have deepened my relationships with my family and know my place in the world.  God has blessed me in numerous ways. And I am thankful for it all.

So, aging ... bring it on.  My life has only gotten better with age.   Just don’t call me old.  I’m just gently used … experienced … perfected with time.  

Whatever you call it … bring it on.

Ok, maybe I’d like to have a few less creaks and groans, but still ... bring it on.

Winter at the Beach!?

Going to the beach in the winter is not something I had ever thought much about.  In the best of circumstances I am not really a beach person.  I do not like the feel of sand in my clothes or between my toes.  I do not drink tropical drinks with little umbrellas in them.  I am not a super strong swimmer and the rough surf beats my knees up.  And I do not like to be in the sun too much.  I have, however, been on a number of beach vacations with family and friends.  Mainly I go to the beach because of my son and my friends.  They like the beach – in fact, they love the beach.  My son loves the water, making sand castles, riding a boogie board on the waves, and flying kites at the beach.  Me ... not so much.

I like being comfortable. I like TV, the Internet, my comfortable chair, and good leisure times.  But roughing it is not something I do.  And my definition of roughing it is pretty narrow.  I always say roughing it is staying in a hotel without room service.  So beach going is not really my "thang."

So when I found out the second leg of my Wabash Pre-Tenure Seminary Faculty group was meeting at Mustang Island in Texas – in the winter - I was less than thrilled, but open to going to a place 60 degrees above where it was at home when I left. So I thought I would give winter beach going a try (plus we are required to attend as part of our fellowship).

So off I went to the beach ... in the winter ... in Texas.

The first afternoon I walked the beach with one of my Wabash colleagues and caught up on job and family stuff.  It was a great visit.  I took pictures of birds, waves, and sand dunes.  I listened to the surf and watched the sunset.

The next morning I woke up to the sounds of waves and birds from my room.  It was amazing.  We had been told that if we wanted to get in the water there were two things to remember:  1) the water is VERY cold and 2) you have to do the "stingray shuffle" to avoid getting stung by the stingrays in the water.  The cold water was enough to keep me away.  Then they warned us about stingrays in the water and rattlesnakes in the brush.  So now I was completely ok with staying out of the water, on the boardwalk, and in the safe places.

But this place was growing on me.  How could it not?

God is in the rhythm of the waves, the beat of the birds' heart and wings, the gentle touch of the breeze, and the laughter/conversation with my friends.  I am taking the slow approach to being at the beach in winter.  There are no children needing to be entertained, no sand castles to be judged, and no bogie boards to go retrieve from the waves – which is the usual pattern of my family time at the beach.  It's just me and my thoughts (and sometimes my friends with me).

One night I took pictures of the sunset and we had a bonfire on the beach.  It is still not my favorite thing – cold, sand and wind.  But it was a blessed time with God.  We looked at the constellations and told stories.  I did not stay long but it was fun.

The last full day we did a group “5K Run, Walk, Crawl, Drag” on the beach.  Everyone participated in some way and everyone was so supportive of each other.  What a joy to be on the beach all together in God’s amazing creation.  That last night we sat around playing games and laughed until we almost could not stand it anymore.  We had a blast.

Honestly, this weekend did not sell me on time at the beach – especially in the winter.  But it once again gave me time with nature and with the Creator God who made it all possible.  It was a time of renewal and rest, a time of recreation and rejuvenation.  And all of us need that. 

So offer me time away with God and opportunities to be in the midst of nature, being with good friends, eating amazing food, having sights to see, and getting time for rest – and then tell me it is in the Winter at the Beach – and my response will now be, “Ok, sign me up!”

The Power of Prayer

I had a very interesting discussion at lunch today about prayer.  I was eating with a group of Interfaith Clergywomen and the subject came up in connection to a family health crisis that one of our group members recently experienced.  The subject of prayer was discussed from several different faith traditions and it was interesting how we all viewed prayer as essential but also from very different perspectives, in some ways.

I have been on the receiving end of prayer on numerous occasions in my life.  I have had people praying for my health, for my job situation, for my family, for my ministry, and for many other reasons and occasions.  I felt those prayers each and every time.  I felt them profoundly and personally.  There were times when I felt totally enveloped by those prayers.   The power of those prayers cannot be understated. 

And I have prayed for others.  I have prayed with families before surgery on a loved one, I have prayed at death beds of church members, I have prayed with several youths about a crisis going on in their lives, I have prayed at civic events and public memorials, and I have prayed at many family meals in gratitude for all of the blessings we have received in our lives.  I have prayed for so many people in so many different circumstances that it boggles the mind.  I have prayed for God’s presence in their lives, for them to feel God’s embrace, and for God’s will to be done.  But I try not to ask for specifics.  I have never prayed for a specific job, a specific outcome, or for a new pony, but I know others do and I respect their understanding of prayer.  It’s just not mine.

The questions come when one asks – what became of those prayers?   Did someone who prayed for me to find a job actually make that happen?  Did someone who prayed for my son during his surgery last year make it easier for his recovery to happen?  Did my prayer affect the outcome of someone’s medical tests?  Or did those prayers simply affect how we felt during those times?  Did they cause us to feel more connected to a community of faith and support, thereby feeling less isolated and alone?  Did those prayers cause the events to change as they were uttered? 

I once heard a friend’s young child pray to God for a baby brother.  Her mother asked her, “Do you really think God is going to send you a baby brother? That’s not actually how it works, honey.”  The child looked at her and said, “I know, but it can’t hurt to have God on my side.”

I agree.  I always want God on my side – and believe God is.  But I also believe nothing we say or do in prayer changes how God is with us.  God is present with me always -- just as God is always present with others.  I pray to feel closer to God, to feel more connected to my community, to release my cares into God’s hands, and to remind myself of how I need to be present for others.

I am not diminishing the power of prayer – I believe it is enormously powerful.  But I also do not think prayer is a magic bullet to make things change course simply by our words. I pray because the power of prayer is real.   

I pray – often.  I pray because I believe it is important.  I pray because I believe the power of God in our lives is phenomenal.  I pray ... because prayer is part of me.  I pray because I believe it makes a difference. 

So … I pray.

Blazing Colors

I grew up in the Texas Panhandle.  The county I lived in had a chain link fence around and an historical marker by the first tree planted in the county – and no I am not kidding.  There were no massively tall trees from centuries of growth.  I grew up in a flat, hot, dry place that had its own kind of beauty – but fall was not a time for beauty.  It always seemed to me that one day the trees were full of amazingly beautiful green leaves and the next day they turned brown.  I have been told that the ground water levels and extreme heat just do not support slow, gradual color changes in the fall.  (I know it also has something to do with the changing length of days, cooler temperatures, and chlorophyll changes.)  So fall was not a time of the year that I spent much time thinking about – it was a time for football and cooler weather but not much else.

As an adult I moved to Kansas City, MO to attend seminary.  It was a beautiful early fall day and I was riding with my seminary roommate to a store when it happened – I screamed and she almost wrecked the car.  She asked quickly – “what happened?”  I could barely speak to answer. I had screamed because I saw the most amazing thing I had ever seen – and I still remember it vividly to this day. What I saw was an entire hillside of blazing colors.  I had seen pictures of fall leaves in magazines.  I had seen fall leaves on TV and in movies.  But I had NEVER seen them for myself.  I was overwhelmed.  I was stunned.  I was awestruck.  It took my breath away.  I was so overwhelmed that I just sat in tears looking at the glorious colors.

It was the most beautiful and spectacular sight of my life.  Red, purple, maroon, yellow, and orange blazed with stunning glory. To this day I pull over when I see the first fall foliage and take pictures.  The leaves simply leave me breathless.  They are the thing I look forward to more than anything else in nature.  My eyes and heart long for them each year.  My spirit soars when I see them.

And I am not the only one.  There are websites that track the color changes for “leaf peepers” to know where and when to see the colors.  There are apps for smartphones so that you have the changes at your fingertips on the go.  One of the most amazing things about fall colors is the short duration of the spectacular colors.  They do not last very long and that makes them ever more special.

Those beautiful fall moments make me pause, praise the Creator, and enjoy the breathtaking colors.  I love fall and fall colors!  I also love that God has gifted us with a creation that screams at us to notice, calls on us to pay attention, and needs our care.  May we notice more often, gaze with awe, and care more deeply in all things we see and do!

Thank you, God, for the gift of fall.