Resistance is Everything ... When Needed

So, I’ve been thinking lately about resistance. It’s been part of my thinking for several weeks now. And I have read a lot about it as well. So maybe one more resistance post is one too many, but I must share.

I spent part of my early adult years watching the Borg on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Watching that TV show, I often heard the phrase, “Resistance is Futile.” The Borg, an alien race, used this line with cultures they encountered to make it known they would be assimilated into the collective hive organism that was the Borg. There was no reason to resist that assimilation. It was going to happen no matter what.

I heard it enough times that it became part of “the tapes” that play in my mind. I sometimes would see bad things happening in the world around me and I would do something to change it. But others, I would think, “resistance is futile.” I’m just one person. I can’t make a difference.

As I grew into adulthood, I was confronted more and more often with things that seemed unjust, immoral, or out of balance. Today it feels like we are constantly gut-punched with bad behavior, violence, and inappropriateness. I can’t stand back and believe that resistance is futile. I must say something, do something, and call those doing these things to accountability.

I saw Star Wars: Rogue One over the holidays and was once again influenced by the need to resist those things that are evil, immoral, or morally bankrupt. In this film, a group of resistance fighters band together to steal the plans to the Death Star. It is a story tied inextricably to the first 1977 Star Wars film, which launched a generation of blockbuster rebellion and sci-fi movies. It shaped me in more ways than I can ever imagine. This new film once again takes the watcher to the realm of resistance and rebellion against an evil empire.

I also followed the Twitter hashtag #TheResistanceWill recently and was both inspired by and delighted by some of the tweets. Some interesting posts include:

            #TheResistanceWill fight every single day for equal rights.

#TheResistanceWill be fueled by cookies and milk.

            #TheResistanceWIll not allow refugees to be turned back.

            #TheResistanceWill be inspired by love and not fear.

            #TheResistanceWill be televised, Tweeted, and FacebookLived.

Resistance is essential when confronted with injustice. But just like in the Star Trek TV show and in Rogue One the sides are not always clearly defined. The differences between the factions are not always obvious but resist we must when we see and hear vile behavior, witness inhumanity to others, and see the effects of marginalization.

We live in a time of violence and injustice. We live in a time when political divisions are sharper than they have been for some time. We live in a time when the different “sides” of the inhumanity with which we treat each other are not always clear. So, we are called to make a stand. We are called to decide how we will respond.

When our leaders guide us to care for those who need help, I will support them and work with them. When our leaders guide us to community building and justice seeking, I will support and work with them. When our leaders guide us to create support systems for those who need health care and jobs, I will support and work with them. When our leaders guide us to reform systems of oppression, I will support and work with them. When our leaders guide us to support those on the margins with compassion and humanity, I will support and work with them. When our leaders guide us to build bridges between races and religions that are different than ours, I will support and work with them.

But when the opposite happens, then things change.

So I commit to the resistance when needed this year. When they come for healthcare, I will resist. When they come for Medicaid and Medicare, I will resist. When they come for Planned Parenthood, I will resist. When they come to abuse the environment, I will resist. When they come for refugees and immigrants, I will resist. When they come for women’s’ rights to control their own bodies, I will resist. When they come for my Jewish and Muslim brothers and sisters, I will resist.  When they come for the marriage rights of the LGBTQI community, I will resist.

Here is what I will do …

I will call our leaders to accountability.

I will put my money where my mouth is.

I will march for equality for all persons.

I will work for #BlackLivesMatter and #LGBTQIEquality.

I will welcome refugees and immigrants in my home, community and church.

I will advocate for those disenfranchised by a culture of greed and wealth.

I will call my legislators about upcoming bills and laws.

I will work with local politicians to make grassroots changes.

I will help my church members and others act on their faith beliefs.

I will even risk being arrested to advocate for the rights of others.

I will preach the Gospel of love and grace for all.

I will listen to those with whom I disagree to learn about each other.

I will continue to use my voice for resistance and change.

I will use my social media sites to do this important work and ask you to join me.

I will resist evil and injustice in all their forms.

Resistance is not futile.

Resistance is everything.

Stained-glass Ceilings and Silencing Women

I teach in a seminary in Philadelphia and every semester I am teaching different classes with a changing group of students. This semester, I’m teaching two courses that I am seriously enjoying. One is an exciting class called Gender, Sexuality and Leadership. We are looking at how our gender and sexuality (and other elements of their personhood – education, race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, political beliefs, religious tradition, etc.) determine not only how we lead but also how our leadership is perceived by others. The course is a senior seminar so all of my students are about to graduate and enter into ministry – as pastors, as leaders in other ministry settings, and as public theologians.

As the course has explored the issue of how our gender is seen in leadership – especially in the church and religious institutions – we have had some intriguing moments of discovery. We have had guest speakers who have shared some startling stories of women being silenced and marginalized in their leadership. We have heard stories of women not being listened to in meetings and their leadership being defined as “less than” their male counterparts in a number of ways. And we have heard stories of women being denied in ministry and leadership by other women as well as by men.

When I hear our guests talk about their pastoral experiences I am reminded of my own. As a woman in pastoral leadership I have had some tough moments. One such situation happened in my first congregation. It was a small rural community in eastern Kansas. The town had a population of about 350 and the little church had 95 members. We were lucky to have 45-50 in weekly worship and to hit 65-70 on high holy days.

When I arrived I was told about Martha (not her real name). Martha was a very wealthy widow who had always had a significant amount of power in the congregation. Her financial gifts made up a large part of the annual giving of the congregation and therefore she had high expectations of pastoral attention.

Within the first few weeks of moving to the community I attempted to make an appointment to go see her in her home.  I was doing the same with many members – some who had not yet been in church since my arrival, some who might be in need of care, and others who I was simply told I needed to contact. Martha kept making appointments with me and then would cancel. I tried but was not sure how to proceed. Finally I decided to just drop by to see her one afternoon.

She invited me in but made it clear after an initial conversation, that I was not her pastor and never would be. I politely asked her why and she stated, quite emphatically, “No woman will ever be my pastor.” I tried to discuss the topic with her but there was no budging her. I asked if there were any possible ways that I could minister to her and if she would continue to come to church. She said she would come back to the church the Sunday after I left and would hold her financial support until that time as well. I pastored there for three years and she never darkened the doors of the church and never sent in her pledge.

I never could get Martha to explain to me why she was so opposed to women in ministry. She was not willing to talk about it to me. So I was left to wonder.

About a year into being appointed there, I heard that she was in the hospital in the next town over. I was told that her condition was serious. She was scheduled to undergo heart surgery to correct the problem she was experiencing. So I showed up to visit and offer pastoral care the day prior to the surgery. I knocked before entering her room and was told I could enter. So I cautiously entered her room to check on her, to let her know I cared, and to pray if she wanted. As I came in I said “Hello, Martha. I just wanted to come by to see how you are and to bring this get well card from the congregation.” She looked at me and asked if I would leave the card on the bedside table. I walked over to the bed and laid the card down. I asked her if I could pray for her and she responded “No, thank you.”

That was it. She turned in the bed away from me and I knew she was done with me.

I did ask a colleague from the UM Church in the town where the hospital was located to go by and offer her care before and after the surgery. And he did. Since he was a man, she welcomed him in and allowed him to provide her with care. That was all I could think of to do.

This experience is not rare and it’s not new. Women in ministry have come a long way but they experience these kinds of ministry denials often. Women are silenced and ignored. Women are limited in their ministry by stained-glass ceilings and sexist feelings.

It can be very painful and women can be left to feel helpless. I don’t pretend to have all of the answers, but want to offer a few suggestions. So how do we counter all of this?

First, we can continue to be the best pastors we possibly can be and be who God made us to be. We can continue to speak up and challenge those persons and systems that keep women from being in ministry or from sharing their gifts.

Second, we can enlist our brothers in ministry to be our advocates and allies so that they can help those closed to our voices finally hear us. They do not become our saviors – they become our partners.

Third, we can enlist and encourage our denominational leaders to be our advocates and allies as well and challenge them when they won’t be. We can hold them accountable.

Fourth, we can share our stories and help support other women in ministry by creating spaces where they can share theirs. We can be people of grace and peace in the midst of denial and silencing. We don’t have to hold all of the pain or feel like we have to solve it all but we can be someone who listens, learns and heals with others who have been hurt.

Fifth, we can strive to pray and keep our spiritual center so that even in times when our ministry and gifts are challenged we are able to keep on pastoring to those who will receive our gifts and graces. And this will allow us to keep on being a pastoral presence even for those less open to our ministry.

Lastly, we can have to hold fast to our call, lead with integrity and know that God called us – no matter what anyone else says.

Maybe Not So Far Baby!

This has been a strange and interesting week to be a woman. It all started with Seth MacFarlane being a misogynist at the Oscars. He made jokes about domestic violence, alluded to women as poor leaders, mocked women’s bodies, and made other offensive jabs at the women and young girls in the room and about women in general. It was disgusting and inappropriate. It was not funny.

But things then got worse. During the show, the satiric website The Onion posted a repulsive Tweet calling the 9 year old actress, Quvenzhané Wallis, a cunt on their official Twitter account. This little actress starred in the film Beasts of the Southern Wild and came to the Oscars with wide eyes and a beautiful spirit. The Onion apologized the next day but did not disclose if the offender was fired (as they should be). How can anyone think that what they posted was humor – satire or not? How can one post something like that about a 9 year old girl? It was not appropriate. It was disgusting.

Later in the week, the fairly new CEO of Yahoo, Marissa Mayer, made news asking all telecommuting employees to come into the office instead of working from home. She was criticized from both the right and the left, from men and women, but many also commented repeatedly about her being a new mom who built a nursery near her office so that she could be close to her child while she worked. She was ravaged by the media about her own office practices and about the ways the new policy would affect both men and women working for Yahoo. As a woman she was critiqued in vicious ways as being insensitive to the needs of other parents while she had the best of both worlds. It was another attack against mothers who work and all of those who work from home. It was not ok.

In Washington, DC our Congressional leaders were debating the re-authorization of the 1994 Violence Against Women Act. Many thought it was a no-brainer to pass a bill that protects women from domestic violence and that creates ways to gain redress against those who perpetrate violence against women. But it was not an easy bill to get passed in the House of Representatives. Women’s groups have been calling for this re-authorization for months and finally it was passed. It is wrong to not value women’s bodies as sacred and deserving of protection. It took too long to get this done.

This week Connecticut state Rep. Ernest Hewett was stripped of his office as deputy speaker for a lewd remark made to a 17 year old young woman. The young woman was testifying about her involvement in an ambassador program that helped her overcome her shyness and get over her fear of snakes.

"I am usually a very shy person, and now I am more outgoing," she said. "I was able to teach those children about certain things like snakes that we have and the turtles that we have. ... I want to do something toward that, working with children when I get older."

Hewett then said: "If you're bashful I got a snake sitting under my desk here."*  Good grief. Seriously? In 2013 we’re still saying things like this? Hewitt apologized for the remark and the young woman accepted his apology, but the fact remains – he said it. He said it in a state house committee hearing room. He said it to a 17 year old young woman. It was totally wrong and repulsive.

I wish this week was an anomaly. But if you have watched any news in the past few election cycles, you know that it happens all too often. I wish these kinds of things did not happen to women – women of color, survivors of domestic abuse, young women, innocent girls, working moms, teens advocating for programs – all women. It should not happen.

I think that many have grown complacent with the belief that women “have come a long way, baby.” Women have made great strides in the past few decades. But the truth is we still have a fight on our hands.

We still have to work for justice and equality. Women still make 77 cents to every dollar a man makes. Women still get critiqued for their attire if they are raped. Women still have to fight for their rights when abuse occurs in the home. Women still have to fight for their little girls to be treated with respect and honor.

Women fight this fight everyday – here in the US and around the globe. I am getting tired of fighting for my place at the table and – once there – fighting to not be called names, belittled, and ridiculed for my gender. But we have to keep on fighting. No matter how tired we are – we owe it to Quvenzhané Wallis, to the 17 year old young woman in Connecticut, and to all girls and women everywhere.

Men have an important role in this. Men must stop perpetuating this crap. They have to stop belittling women in public and in private. They have to honor the women in their lives by not seeing them as a punching bag or a punch line. They have to teach their girls to expect more from the boys and men around them. They have to teach their boys to honor girls just as their sons deserve to be honored. And men have to stop letting other men around them get away with all of this either. Men have to be advocates for women – everywhere.

And the church has a role as well. The church has to affirm the presence and role of women in active places of ministry and leadership. And the church needs to advocate for better education, engagement, and advocacy for women in the world, in society, and in their very midst. We have to teach respect and honor of all persons. We have to listen to women’s stories and help them find resolution and grace in their lives.

In Galatians, we read, “In Christ’s family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal. That is, we are all in a common relationship with Jesus Christ.” (Galatians 3:28 – The Message)

As a Christian and as a person of faith I believe this. I believe it to the core of my being. I believe it as a woman and as the aunt to four young women. I believe it as a mom to a teenage son who I am raising to respect women and advocate for them.

I pray we all find a way to live into equality. I know it will be hard but we deserve a world where all persons are valued and treated with respect.

And it begins with us – all of us. I for one will NOT accept this crap. I will continue to speak out. And I will hold others accountable for what they say and do.

I invite you to join many of us already in this fight, to continue on this justice journey, and to hold folks accountable. During this Women's History Month - let's all demand a change.

We all deserve better.



*Rep. Hewitt story from Conn. Lawmaker Stripped Of Post After Lewd Comment To Teen Girl.
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/conn-lawmaker-stripped-of-post-after-lewd-comment (accessed March 1, 2013).

Women- We Need to Tell Our Stories

I grew up in Texas, which is an extremely oral culture.  We tell stories.  We tell little stories about the people who used to live in the house on the corner or the football game when we won the state championship.  And we tell BIG stories about our history – about the battle at the Alamo; about being a country before being a state; and about Texas legends like Travis, Austin, Crockett, and others.  Telling stories in my culture is vital.  It is as much a part of Texans as breathing.

I also grew up in a story telling household.  We heard stories about ancestors who fought in the Civil War (or the War of Northern Aggression as some of my relatives call it), my dad juggling a watermelon and dropping it all over the kitchen floor as a kid, and an intriguing story from my Great Aunt Edna about the little people who lived in the moss outside her window. 

These stories are a part of me because they are part of my story.  My life story.  The story of me.  It is an important story because it is my story.  And to honor it – I have to tell my story.  A huge part of my story is my faith in God, my being a follower of Jesus, my devotion to my vocation, my growing up in Texas, and my love of family.  Telling the story of me and my faith journey is essential. 

I teach my students to honor their stories.  I teach them to be proud of their journey – their life journey and their faith journey.  And I teach my preaching students to tell the Gospel story in profound, personal, and relevant ways.  Telling stories is important in the life of the church.  The story of the Hebrew people makes up the Old Testament, the story of Jesus is told in the Gospels, and the story of the early church is recounted in the Epistles.  These stories are important to read, hear, and respond to.  They are the stories of our faith.

Yesterday, I spent time with a group of women attending the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia’s Women’s Day event.  We talked about the stories of women from the Bible – Eve, Esther, Rachel, Leah, Elizabeth, Sarah, Mary the Mother of Jesus, Salome, Mary Magdalene, Dorcas, the Samaritan Woman at the Well, Priscilla, Huldah, the Woman with the Issue of Blood, Mary and Martha, and others.  It was a powerful time of conversation.

We also talked about the importance of honoring these stories and the women’s own stories in the life of the church.  Some of these stories are told in the church on a regular basis – in worship, in preaching, in study, and in communal gatherings.  But unfortunately many are not.  Women’s stories are often either omitted or told only to forward the story of the male characters in the story.  At the very least women get their stories told on Women’s Sunday or Mother’s Day.  Some churches are much better than this – thank goodness – but some are not.

Today, we also hear women’s place in society and their rights to make decisions about their own lives being bandied about as political power plays.  Whether you agree or not with the topics of debate – the way men in power are talking about women without asking women to participate in the decisions is repugnant. Women are being silences in many of these discussions.  We ought to be able to tell our own stories and have a role in the decisions that affect our own lives.

We have to tell our stories.  We have to tell the stories of women in our lives.  We have to tell the stories of women in our faith journeys.  We have to tell the stories of the women of the Bible and women who have and are leading the church.

Women’ stories are important.   ‎A friend shared the following quote from Muriel Rukeyser on my Facebook wall today - "What if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open."

Our stories are the stories that would split open the world.  Our stories are the stories of the world – the stories of the church – the stories of us. 

Tell them – often and everywhere.  Tell them.

Jumping On the Downton Abbey Bandwagon

For several months I watched friends and family posting on Facebook and on Twitter about the PBS show Downton Abbey.  I saw humorous quotes and intriguing insights from some good people about the show but was not watching it at the time.  I am not usually a period-piece TV viewer.  But I was getting pulled in by the gushing these folks were doing over the show.  So I decided I would try it – and got on the VERY LONG wait list on Netflix so that we could view it at our own pace in our living room.  It took a while but we got it and decided to watch it that very night.

To be honest, I was hooked the first five minutes of the show.  I was intrigued by the upstairs/downstairs reality of the show.  For the few not watching it yet, it is the story of the Crawley family and their lives in their majestic home, Downton Abbey.  The Earl, Robert Crawley, his wife, their three daughters, and the Dowager Countess, the Earl’s mother, have ups and downs aplenty, but for the most part it is a story of their relationships one with the other.  It is a gorgeous home and is a story of great wealth and privilege during a drastically changing time in history. 

But it is also a story about the household staff that keeps Downton Abbey humming.  From the butler, Carson, down to the first and second footmen and various house maids, we get to see the lives of the extraordinary people who kept the aristocracy of Great Britain alive and well in the early 1900s.  And we get to see that they had extraordinary lives themselves.

The thing that is interesting about the show is the interactions of all of these people in the midst of a fast changing world – women’s rights, World War I, changing roles for the aristocracy, gender expectations, modern technologies (electricity, cars and the telephone), and shifting politics.  Change is hard for everyone.  Carson is not sure what to do with the telephone, Sybil gets into trouble trying to be a modern woman, war disrupts all of their lives, and the household staff is full of clashing personalities of both the good and evil varieties.

I resisted this show because I was not interested in the rich v. poor story I assumed it would be.  I resisted because I did not want to watch something just because others were fans.  I resisted because ... well just because.

But I am on the Downton Abbey bandwagon now.  We have just finished with the first season.  The Frist World War has just been declared.  And I am delighted with my decision to watch Downton Abbey.

I am enjoying learning about a period of time that I studied historically but not very socially focused.  I have learned that taller footmen earned more than their shorter counterparts. I have learned that while we are debating the rights of women to be their own persons today, this is indeed a longtime issue with much more progress needed. 

I am a fan of Downton Abbey.  But more than anything else I am a fan about learning about the lives of others.  I am a fan about growing in my understanding of the world around me – even the world as seen through the upstairs/downstairs lives of the Crawley family in early 1900s Great Britain.

Silencing is the First Step of a Slippery Slope

I have been baffled, angered, and disturbed lately by the lack of women’s presence and voices on TV news, in other media outlets, and at the GOP Oversight and Government Reform Committee panel discussing women’s health and contraceptive issues.  The absurdity of excluding the one group of people who are most affected by their decisions and opinions is ridiculous.  I have friends who are Pro-Choice and Pro-Life and most from both groups are outraged by the silencing of women on this critical issue. 

"What I want to know is, where are the women?" Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-N.Y.) asked Issa before walking out of the hearing after the first panel. "I look at this panel, and I don't see one single individual representing the tens of millions of women across the country who want and need insurance coverage for basic preventative health care services, including family planning. Where are the women?" (from HuffPost). 

Too many times in our culture the powerful people of politics, media, religion, etc. make decisions that relate to others without seeking their input.  It happens in churches and synagogues, meeting halls and parking lots.  It happens in local, state and national politics by the powerful listening to only those who can donate big bucks to their campaigns.  It happens in denominations and work places by silencing those who disagree with the majority or those in power.  It even happens at the altar and around the table of our Lord when some are welcomed and others are kept away. 

It happens in homes when the powerful deny the voices of the weak to be heard.  It happens in bullying and betrayal.  It happens when people speak of inclusion and acceptance but act contrary to those words.  It happens when groups refuse to even consider including someone from outside of their circle for inclusion.  It happens when games are played and some are left out. It happens when the needs and opinions of some are drowned out by the wants of the majority.

The slippery slope of silencing “the other” leads to exclusion and oppression.  

We have too much of this in our society already.  It happens too much!

We are called to do better!  We are called to be better!