Over the
past few months, my parents have gone to the funerals of a number of their very
close friends. Recently, one of their friends was hospitalized with an unknown
heart condition and it worried them greatly. When I asked how they were taking
all of this – they reminded me that getting old often means going to funerals
and dealing with loss – alongside all of the other things in their lives.
I remember
my grandmother, as she aged, saying that calling the final decades of her life
the “Golden Years” was just not right. She said that phrase was absolutely
insane. “Getting old is not the most enjoyable ride,” she told me. She had
great times, continued to travel, and enjoyed her family. But losing one’s
independence, needing others to care for your needs, dealing with loss and
illness, and spending more and more time with doctors was not much fun.
I am now in
my 50s and I can honestly say that it is the best time of my personal and
professional life. I am far from old – physically, emotionally or
intellectually. But my knees are a bit shot – too many skiing accidents growing
up – and I am on a few more prescriptions than I would like to be on. So I am not as healthy as I wish I was – but I
am working on that. And I am working hard on it – have been for months. This is
a life change – not just a couple of week’s living up to some faint end of year
resolution.
Growing
older is inevitable and I am happy to get to do it – like they say, “the
alternative to living is not much fun.” Maybe it isn’t always pretty but it is
living.
Growing
older is also a huge blessing. As my grandmother told me, it means we get to
learn from our experiences, watch those we love grow up and become their own
persons, and spend significant time enjoying our lives. Yes, we’ll have to deal
with the other stuff - and there is
often “other” stuff to deal with - but getting to live, laugh and love is an amazing
gift.
As we enter
into 2014 tomorrow, we are often asked or even intimidated into making lists of
resolutions for the New Year. I used to succumb to the pressure of resolutions
to remake my life – as if it sucked before. And I made promises to myself that
I knew I could not live up to. I was doomed almost as soon as I made the list.
But I have learned.
This year, I’m
not gonna promise anything that does not feed me spiritually and emotionally. I’m
not gonna make a list of things that I am not able to do and then feel badly
about failing.
So here are
my 14 for 2014 – in no particular order:
1. Love my family even more deeply and
enjoy every moment I get with them (ok, I have a teenager so every moment seems
too drastic). How about most of the time?
2. Support my friends and family in good
times and bad.
3. Love myself – despite any perceived flaws.
Because I am awesome. Seriously!
4. Never be afraid to say no when I need
to (hmmm … setting myself up again?). Better? “Try not to be afraid to say no when I need
to.”
5. Try to let go of the judgment of
others. Their view is not as important as mine.
6. Make the most of my life by laughing more
and trying to live without regrets.
7. Spend more time on my faith journey by
reading and praying more often.
8. Do things to stay healthy – for me –
not because I’m bullied by others’ perceptions of who I ought to be. 9. Work for justice and inclusion in all
I do.
10. Don’t take too many selfies (ok, this
is easy since I don’t do it now).
11. Have fun being true to my calling and
myself.
12. Don’t say yes to too many writing
assignments. Guard my time.
13. Try to laugh at Monty Python even
though I don’t get it (I’ll likely fail at this one).
14. Love – just love.
That’s a
list I can get behind. It’s a list that helps me age into this next year more
happy and healthy. It’s a list that is about faithfulness and self-acceptance.
It’s a list about love and family. It’s a list I can live with – regardless of
my age.
So a happy
and healthy New Year to all of you.
Live, laugh,
and love your way into and through an amazing 2014.
All my love –
Karyn
